I am tempted to say something like "Hey question for you and don't take it the wrong way - but can I ask why the sudden change in your attitude - not that I am complaining I just would like to understand why you have changed recently.
What do ya all think??????
In my opinion, that would be a heavenly question to get an actual straight answer to, but THAT is not going to happen...
I would suggest that H hasn't even realised that he is getting more comfortable spending time with you and the kids and that he has been spending a lot more time there as a result. It would probably be a good idea for him to carry on doing this and then gradually realise what is going on...
As much as you want to know what is going on, the danger is that H is just going with the flow without actually thinking about it (which proves to me that you are doing a great job ). And if you were to make H think about it without him being absolutely ready...you run the risk of him backing off again.
KDU - you really seem to be doing so well and I agree that you were doing even better when you kept the focus on yourself. Could you try to refuse to let yourself think about the sitch? Sounds completely impossible, I know, but you were better off while you were doing that and H also seems to be moving closer,...
). And if you were to make H think about it without him being absolutely ready...you run the risk of him backing off again.