New tactics for me.....

[kaydeekay]

Hi Kim-The detaching thing is not as easy as we thought, huh? My H is still at my house and there are days when I get that old feeling for him, BUT I know at this point and time he only wants to be friends with me and I have accepted it. It hurts like hell, but I know that we can never be like we used to be, which was two unhappy people in an unhappy marriage. In time I hope that our friendship will build into a brand new relationship.

It does sound as though your H is confused about what/who he wants. You said you didn't know if just being his friend would be enough for you...ask yourself this, would you like to be his friend and hope that a relationship could rebuild from that friendship (of course you would be GALing too) or would you like to be the ex-wife that harbors bad ill feelings towards her ex-husband and there would be no hopes of any rebuilding of a realtionship?

I know it's hard seeing your H, I have to see mine everyday. I have asked him to leave by this weekend becuase I don't know if I can handle him being around me all the time. He has been great and this makes it harder on me. I do and don't want to be with him. My H has too much drama in his life right now and I told him that I do not want to be a part of any of it. He has stopped seeing OW but has some phone contacts with her.

For me to see my H as my friend right now...I remind myself that this is not the same person I loved a year and half ago; he's a stranger to me. The person I loved a year and a half ago would not have hurt me like this new person I see in front of me. I know it sounds strange but this is what helps me.

((((KDU))))