Nothing wrong with putting on music at any time of the day if that's what you are in the mood for. Music can really be mood altering so whack it on the CD and live it up..... Journaling...... H worked for us yesterday and was nice and chatty so I was the same take him as I find him at the moment. I am not going to backslide on this detaching thing but I tell you sometimes it does hurt and pull on the old emotional strings which tells me I am not as detached as I would like to be.
When H isn't GALing himself or at least not telling me about it I seem to do quite well for myself and don't give him as much thought but if he tells me he is going out with someone especially female or it looks like he is starting up with someone it really hits home hard to me.
He mentioned that he has been out for coffee with some Nurse from the hospital he works at and is going out for tea with her tonight. Now I thought it was the boys from the gym as that is what he said but he never tells the truth these days so I don't know why I am surprised.
Apparently she is a couple of years older than him but he is not really sure as he says he is too scared to ask...He really likes these older woman for some reason.
Anyhow he is obviously still wanting to sow wild oats, which just shows me that I am correct in detaching but it is still hard to come to terms with. I hate thinking of him with someone else....I guess I am a bit of the mind, if I can't have you, I don't want anyone else to either.
Its very strange as I don't really know that I necessarily want him myself and am detaching to get on with my life but I think I also thought that maybe once I was used to being on my own I had this dream that he would come back begging my forgiveness so I guess I still have a loooooong way to go. How weird this cycle is. I know I still love him but I thought that I could get over that and thought I was, but at the mere mention of someone else I realise I love him more than I thought....Damn It....Anyhow just letting you know how I am feeling at the moment and he knows none of this in his eyes I look like I have moved on and don't really give a hoot about getting back together so I guess I can't blame him, it just shows me how not over him I am.
Oh well goal for this weekend to GAL as much as possible and to keep doing what I am doing. I think it makes it hard when I see him at work too. As it is 2 full days and not just a 1/2 hour coffee when he picks up S. I do much better when I have no contact with him other than once a week. Tonight I will go to gym and have a huge workout, come home have a shower and then go and visit a friend. Tomorrow I am not sure what I am doing yet as it is our big day in September, "AFL Grand Final". This year could be the first year I don't go to a Grand Final BBQ or function but hey I guess that's a new beginning. I have been invited a few places but they really don't interest me so I may just have to watch it with the kids and have our own little shindig......KDU
hey KDU - yea the detachment thing is really good, but like you said hard at the same time - the less you know about their comings and goings the better off you are, but it's so tempting not buy into their drama when they feel so free to volunteer such info! and he does seem comfortable telling you of his adventures and what not - you may want to consider 'changing the subjet' or shutting him down when he feels obliged to do so - it hurts alot less believe me!
But good for you - you seems to be moving along really well and your right, this is a marathon, not a dash - and it does take time, lots of time, lots of ups and downs.....even I still get them, but it definately will make you stronger and better for it all.
Kim, hang in there. Guaranteed, just as you are unsure of your feelings right now, as they cycle yet again, WAH is having the same feelings.IMHO, that is why he is telling you all about his love life. He wants you to react.
I cannot imagine how hard it would be to have to hear it all, esp if you have to see him at work as well. You are going great guns, keeping it all together under those circumstances.
I hope you had a great weekend, watching the finals and spending time with your kids.
You are going to come out the other side of this so strong. You may save your M, you may decide you don't want to. But either way, you are showing yourself and your kids what a tough cookie you are, and that is inspirational.
...that is why he is telling you all about his love life. He wants you to react.
That's what I think, too. He's gonna cycle back to wanting KDU eventually...but will she have already cycled on by then? I swear some of these WAS's just hang around until their LBS gets it together, gets tired of their crap, and makes the decision for them. It seems unfair. But after awhile it ain't about fair, it's just about us, eh?
Stop WaitingFeel EverythingLove AchinglyGive ImpeccablyLet Go
I swear some of these WAS's just hang around until their LBS gets it together, gets tired of their crap, and makes the decision for them. I wholly AGREE!!!! I think this is what my H is sort of doing.... I don't think he wants to make the decision, as he would be afraid to be the one who gives us his LOVING family for OW. He wants me to make the decision for him so that he could well say that I didn't want him....
Thanks guys. Hey Kismet and Yoyo hope you both had great birthdays.... Update.... Friday - Went home got changed for gym and then decided I couldn't be bothered so went to a friends place to see her and her 6 month old baby. Left there went and got some Charcoal Chicken and Salad for tea and then another girlfriend came over and we watched a DVD - House of Wax - wasn't too bad but no 5 stars.
Saturday - Went shopping, housework, picked up kids from Mum's. Came home made some nibbly platters up and the kids and I watched the AFL GrandFinal which Syndey Swans won - yippee 1st time in 42yrs or there abouts. Girlfriend and her kids came over for tea and then by male friend "Jarrod" came over again but armed with 12 cans of Scotch this time. So the kids watched movies up the front and my girlfriend, Jarrod and Myself played pool and listened to music down in the back room. Girlfriend left about midnight and Jarrod left a little after 3am. So it was a good night.
Sunday - Woken up by H to go to gym. Got ready and went, came home we had coffee and then he left. More housework, went to Mum's to clip her dogs and then bummed around the house not doing much just relaxing. Early night about 9pm.
Monday - Today back to work, new phone system put through. H rang to say hi, so we chatted for a bit and he might come and get the kids during the week and take them to play on the slot cars at an Indoor Entertainment Parlour. So we will see. He is being nice but I hate this as I like our interactions I just wish he could see more in it but I am not going to force him I just have to keep detaching and acting as if which he realy thinks I am happy...KDU
I swear some of these WAS's just hang around until their LBS gets it together, gets tired of their crap, and makes the decision for them.
I wholly AGREE!!!! I think this is what my H is sort of doing.... I don't think he wants to make the decision, as he would be afraid to be the one who gives us his LOVING family for OW. He wants me to make the decision for him so that he could well say that I didn't want him....
In fact I have even asked H on a few occassions if he was waiting for me to say it was over..? He threatens me with separation (which would be good for me but not for the kids - so I'm hanging on) but does not follow through - because it's "my call". WTF?
