I know I haven't posted much lately but I have been following from a distance (actually around 11,000 miles). I'm very happy that you are (forgive me but...) not taking sh*t from your H anymore. It appears that you've drawn a line in the sand, you're standing your ground. This is good!!
DMF thanks mate glad to see you are still around. I drop by your board from time to time but I can't offer you alot of advice as you are futher along this journey than I am. My posts have got alot longer haven't they something I must have picked up from BB, although when you check out Heatherg mine are nothing. I will keep posting so you can keep reading but dont be a lurker say hi and offer some advice or humour it's been awhile since I have had a good banter with you.....KDU
I seem to be following you around on the boards today - Following you literally as well as figuratively!!!
Need to also learn patience from you - sure I would have at least left the phone off the hook... Pick up the phone to have H shout at you - WTF are they thinking!
Excellent job KDU!!! You stood your ground and let H know that you no longer will be flexible for him. I know how hard it is to remain calm but stearn. I've lost it a time or two but I've learned that will get you nowhere. Keep up the good work!!!!
M:43 H:37 D14 (ours) D18 (mine) S22 (mine) S18 (his) S: 10/2004 Bomb: 2/15/05 In/out of home Living with OW #4 Talks of D for 2-1/2 years
Quote: dont be a lurker say hi and offer some advice or humour
SH Kim,
I don't really have any relationship/DB advice but I do have some other advice. I also hope you find it humorous and in good spirits.
Kim, I enjoy reading up on your deal. You have come along way, further than most out here. But you have GOT to start using paragraphs baby!! It's hard for my short attention span (you hear me Anna? ) to stay on track when reading. Those breaks in the post now and then really help me to take a breath.
Hope you are not mad at me... 'Twas meant constructively...
Kim, you are smokin! WTG, keeping your cool when dealing with that, that really is awesome, especially when you are at work. That really is major league stuff. Well done!
At this moment I am looking at my M as being over and at H being nothing more than the father of my son
I love this concept. I think I may have to borrow it, as it seems to sum up how I feel (well today anyway).
Great friend you have there. It must be good to be able to go out with a man and not have any sexual stuff hanging around. Keep us up to date on your adventures
Hi Guys, WCBeth nothing like being followed, we are obviously on at the same time.
Kismet: Feel free to borrow anything you like my dear and yes I will certainly keep you posted of my antics with male friend. It is nice to have male company and nothing in it although sometimes it reminds you of what you are missing but most of the time it is good.
DMF - Sorry love and English was one of my better subjects at school. I think I just get carried away with my thoughts and type them all down without any thought of how it might read so I apologise and thank you for pointing that out and I will try to paragraph by posts so thanks and as if I would be upset by that
Journaling:- O.K. so I got home last night and H turned up about 15 mins later and he was in a good mood so we sat down and had a coffee and a chat.
We discussed his work for a big part of the time and then we discussed the last 8 months or should I say that I told him how I felt about the last 8 months and is latest behaviour.
I said that I was sick of doing everything his way and waiting for him to make up his mind as to what he wanted out of our R and that I had given up. I was happy to move things on as his actions have shown that he is no clearer in his head now than he has been since this whole thing started. I told him I was sick of him thinking that everything I did or suggested where S was concerned was for my own greater good and that I didn't want to waste the energy arguing over things anymore for instance like our numerous phone conversations today. So I said we have a set plan in place for his access to S and I wanted to stick to them and in future if something came up on his side he would do better to ask me if an alternative could be reached before making his plans.
H agreed with everything I said and admitted he had been in the wrong on the phone. He tried to make excuses for his behaviour as I was pointing the things out but I stopped him and said dont worry about it. I am just getting it all off my chest, I am not after answers so you don't need to say anything. He told me that he carries alot of guilt over the last 8 months and finds that hard to get past. So I validated him and said I understood this but not to be too hard on himself as what is done is done. He said it's not that easy and I said true but you will have to come to terms with it eventually.
He also said maybe we could go out for a drink sometime to which I said that would not be a good idea, better we leave it like it is for now. He also said you never know what the future could bring and I said no I agree with that but I am not thinking of the future at the moment just taking each day as it comes.
He also mentioned that there is nothing with OW and that he doesn't see her at all now other than bumping into her at work and I said "Tony I don't need to hear any of that, it is none of my business and I really don't care if you are seeing her" and he replied that he just wanted me to know there was nobody at the moment.
Anyway that's about all that happened, I did walk him and S out to his car but then I kissed S goodbye, said goodbye to H and that I would see him Thursday at work and then turned and walked inside and shut the door. I didn't even wait for him to pull out of driveway or even start his car.
So there you have it at least I stayed strong, although it was hard and I still keep having pangs of god I want him back but in the next minute I think do I really and then I am O.K. again.
So that's my update I hope DMF that it was easier to read and I don't expect I will have much more to update until Thursday but I will still be looking at everyone else' sitch....KDU
It's hard for my short attention span (you hear me Anna? 
