Fellow Chicky babes, thankyou so much for your encouragement it helps alot. This detaching thingy is new to me and I have surprised myself at how well I am coping with it. Now Anna in answer to your question is this a tactic it depends which way you look at it. Everything else I have done has been a tactic to get H to come back I was after reactions from him and whilst I am curious as to how he will react to my new found freedom if he doesn't react I am O.K. with that where as before I would have just tried something else. Now I am detaching for my own sake and mental and emotional stability so yes it is a tactic for my own greater good but not a tactic for my H. Is reconciliation still an option Mmmmm that is sort of difficult but honestly yes it is although it is out of my hands. At this moment I am looking at my M as being over and at H being nothing more than the father of my son. Yes at the moment I still love him but I hate who he has become. He is now a self absorbed person and selfish he can only see how things affect himself and has no understanding of anyone else, this is disappointing but not someone I wish to have a R with so firstly if that doesn't change then neither will our R. Should H wake up from the fog and pursue me then I will assess how I feel when and if that happens but I will not live in hope that it is going to happen. WCBeth you stated that my posts don't seem to show the emotion I must be feeling well I guess that would be correct but until today I have been feeling very strong in my conviction of where I am heading - detachement so I guess that would be the reason why. Don't get me wrong this is full of emotion but that rollercoaster I was on played with my emotions alot more than detaching does. I think the rollercoaster part of it sucks all your emotion out of you and therefore you realise detaching is truly the best option for yourself and at first you feel a bit numb....I have been coping with this so much better than I thought I would until today which I will explain soon. I really think it is a case of being stronger and not living with my emotions controlling my life as they were. I hope this helps you to understand a little better. KDK thanks for the support, I know you know where my head is at Kismet - Yes always love a man with Bailey's. He really is such a sweet friend and we get along so well but we are sort of like brother and sister he is 31 and I am 39, he has no kids and has not been married although was engaged. So he really needs to find a nice girl but we figure we can be good company for each other and when we are out you should see us. Let me explain, we figure what a different sort of pick up line would it be if a female chatted up another female for her male friend. So we sit there both scanning the chickies and then when we both agree who looks nice and has a friendly face I go and talk to her and get her to come over and have a drink with us and the rest is up to him. So far he hasn't scored but I nearly did. This one girl I went up to turned out to be a lesbian, I nearly choked on my drink and Jarrod well he thought it was hilarious and jokingly said that I had done very well and could have made all his dreams come true if I was just agreeable, which I wasn't. So it has been alot of fun and certainly given us something to talk about and it looks like we may have another single male recruit as one of the other guys that was groomsmen in my wedding is now single again and wants to come out with us. I will have to post our antics on this board to give you all a laugh.....Anyhow I hope I have answered most of the questions that were put to me and I hope it helps you all with the different stages you are at. Feel free to keep quizzing me as it makes me feel stronger to know I am still on the right track.....O.K. I am going to start journelling.....KDU
