KDU Sounds like you have a good perspective and like you are doing very well. Good job! I'm sure now if you pay attn. you will see lots of male admirers. Like you, I never paid attention before, but I am now.
Thanks guys I do feel more strong and confident about my future. I am out for me at the moment and nobody else really factors in other than my beloved children. You know I have never put myself first in all my life, I so much love to please others it gives me great satisfaction when I know something I did really helped someone but ya know i think it is way beyond time that I did worry about myself first this will be a real 180 for me if I can keep it up. Saw H this morning when he came into work, it's so funny that when you act as if and distant yourself how they seek you out for more conversations he knows I am starting back at the gym and said he would pick me up Saturday morning and go with me (H goes to the gym nearly every day) I nearly said No thanks I can get there myself but thought no this is what I would have done in the past as I have been shitty with him so I said O.K if you want to pick me up that would be fine. I will go with him to the gym and when he drops me home I am just going to thank him and go inside without any invitation for coffee and you know the best part at the moment I don't even feel upset about any of this. I truly think in the past I have been doing everything so as to get a reaction out of my H that hopefully woke him up to himself but I think I get it now. I am doing this for me and I am going to keep my distance from H as I do not want to ride the Rollercoaster at the moment I have decided to get off and walk alone for awhile and I feel so good about it. What will be will be no matter what I do fate will work it's charm whichever way and at the moment I really think I can deal with that whichever way it goes. I can feel a glimmer of happiness creeping in inside of me for the first time since February when he left. I think I have truly realised that I don't need my H, yes I still love him but there has been a slight shift inside of me like a little earth tremor and I must admit I am now excited as to how this goes for the moment it truly doesn't seem to hurt as much so maybe I am moving to a happier place, fingers crossed. Hey Anna I haven't succeeded at this yet but hey mate if I do then you can too as I am a hopeless case look at all my ups and downs but this feels different so if I can do it so can you Anna my love. Well that is my update for now so KimDownUnder signing off with an upbeat mood..... P.S - If the blue bird of happiness dumps its load on me watch out as I am not going to get out of this mindset if i can help so hey bluebird watch your feathers.....Hehehe
Well H came back to work last night and dropped off the work car and said he would come and pick S up for the night as he was on a late shift Friday, I said yep no worries and he said he was going home for a shower and would then come and get S and take him to the movies, I said O.K. do you have any idea of what time and he said it wont be that long why do you have plans and I replied well yes I do have parent/teacher interview at the school for my 17yr old and he said oh well I will try and be quick to which I replied no take your time I will make sure all his stuff is at the front door, that way if I am not home you can just pick him up knowing you have everything as the older kids will be home. He said Yeh but I should see you, and I said O.K. well if I see you I see you otherwise I will catch you later and he said yeah well I will see you saturday for gym say 8.30am and I said yep fine see ya and jumped in my car and drove off. I normally would have made sure I was there when he came to pick up S but I did a 180 and left early so as I wasn't there and it is all still feeling quite good, I used to think about him nearly every minute of the day b4 but now it is not like that and I tell you it relaxed the mind a bit. I still find it amazing how the more we distance ourselves the more they want to know, it's like they are happy when we are just sitting in the wings waiting for them but once we GAL and they are not so sure that we will still want them back, they need to try and reel us back in so as to have us in a safety zone for when and if they decide to come home. Well stuff that I am still going to live my life for my kids and myself and try to not think of H very much at all and as I have said before what will be will be....I am at such a better place at the moment and I am going to do my best to keep myself there....Till next update....KDU
Hi KDU, I just wanted to stop by and say thanks to you. On just about every thread I read, there is a post from you offering someone kind words of encouragement. I think it's so sweet that you always have those words for people. The world loves people like you because you help to make it feel like a safer and better place.
Heather
"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
That was a great post. You are really moving forward and I am happy that you are feeling better with your GAL and PMA. Why is it though that when the LBS starts to drop the rope and move on the WAS all the sudden is grasping at straws and is suddenly more interested in everything you do? I think you are right about moving them out of the comfort zone. They know we aren't waiting in the wings, watching their every move. Ah, it is a strange dance that we do...
WCB
God grant me the serenity,
to accept the things I cannot change,
To change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
- Reinhold Niebuhr
God love you BB, you make me blush but ditto to you too as you always offer just the right mix of emotion and support on all the posts so right back at ya babe..... WCBeth - Hello there girlfriend, yes it is amazing the stupid game they play but ya know what we let them, now I see that you were once a Lab girl too so make sure when you and SH are doing the DNA on this dreamy fella you leave those parts out and we can all have a wonderful dance hehehe... Heather: The world loves people like you because you help to make it feel like a safer and better place. You are way too kind, honestly we all see the great qualities in each other I just wish our WAS' would. Oh well it's there loss. I think those alien's didn't just take their brains but their eyes to see things with, their compassion everything but hey pop over to SH's thread and check out the new guy we are gonna make over there from all the DB guys as they sure have the qualities that our spouse's lack....it's a laugh and only just getting started maybe we will make a new thread called "DB Dream Guy" and we can all put in our requests...... Hey girls wadda ya think O.K it's Friday here and I am off to GAL for the weekend you all take care and have a good one and I will check back in Monday, which will take me half the day as you all seem to go crazy on the weekends with your postings and it takes me forever to read them all. Don't worry I am not complaining I love reading what you have all put....till monday xxxxx KDU
Hey KDU!! I think you and I are in the same boat now. It does feel good and relaxing when we finally let go of the obsessive thoughts of our WAS. I agree that once we do GAL they seemed interested. My H just called and I reminded him about D11 dentist appointment. He said call when it's over and let me know how it went. I told him "Okay, I'll have D11 call you." "Why don't you call me?" I told him I would call and give him an update and ended the convo.
Keep doing what you are doing and I'll keep doing what I'm doing...it seems to be working so far!! (((((KDU)))))
M:43 H:37 D14 (ours) D18 (mine) S22 (mine) S18 (his) S: 10/2004 Bomb: 2/15/05 In/out of home Living with OW #4 Talks of D for 2-1/2 years
I still find it amazing how the more we distance ourselves the more they want to know, Oops... I should have read this thread before I did what I did.... Just texted H "R u still alive? Figured that even if you leave us, would still need to know if u r alive, or I should go pick up the Insurance $$. Unless u give to others, then we get 0". Well, too late. Can't retract the Text. ... He he he. We'll see if he calls at all. Or return my text.
You are doing so well now, wished I could get H out of my mind. Been quite obsessed the last few days. Really really have to keep busy.
Hopefully. my trip to Mauritius is gonna stir his interest in me. Not gonna tell him whom I am going with. He He he..got to lose a little more weight to look good in my bikini... Cute Cabana Boys...here I come!!!
but ditto to you too as you always offer just the right mix of emotion and support on all the posts so right back at ya babe.....
