Hi guys - SH: Don't ever apologise for waffling on it's what we all do best and sometimes something someone has said on their post pushes a button inside of us and off we go but that's what it is all about. I have taken on board what you have said but do want to point out that everything I vented in my last post was how I was and still am feeling I have not voiced this to my H, I haven't lost the plot that much yet lol..... KDK: No I am sure my H hasn't appreciated the bridges I mended with his family it would not have even slipped through his mind, he is far too focused on himself at the moment than anyone else. Yes I have suggested that he see S during the week like pick him up and take him out for tea for an hour or so, I have told him he can see his son anytime but he just doesn't seem to make any other arrangements other than the one's we have in place but H never planned anything himself he always waited for myself or someone else to suggest things to him but my days of doing that are over especially when he says he wants to stand on his own two feet. Kismet: My thoughts exactly fellow countrywoman. I haven't shut any doors just left them slightly ajar is all. Yes my parents are divorced and I agree it does give you a better insight as to how our kids are feeling or at least it makes us worry that they may be feeling how we did, but that can only be a good thing for our relationship with them I think. BB: I'll bet you tended to discourage interest from other men until it became so automatic that you didn't realize you were doing it. It'll be interesting to see what happens if/when you let that barrier back down a little bit. Wow I have never given that a thought but I must admit I never ever would have thought anyone was interested in me when I was with my H as I have very loyal ideas on relationships and tend to think that everyone thinks like me but hey they don't do they look at our WAS's. Which reminds me of a time when we had another couple over and the four of us were playing cards and the guy who is a long standing friend of mine started playing footsies with me under the table, mind you it took me 5 mins or more to realise it wasn't my H and I looked at this friend who had a big grin on his face and I said you know that's my foot not your wifes (my H and his W were talking and not paying us attention at the time so didn't hear this) He said yes I know and I said you dont want to go down this path and he said Oh yes I do and I said well stop it as I dont and wont. It was then left to slide and I didn't bring it up ever again and of course never told my H or this friends W, so you do give me food for thought. If he's strong enough, he'll catch up. If not, you'll find someone who is. It might take longer than you want because there aren't that many squared away men in the world. Ya know? Ain't that the truth but what do you mean squared away men in the world, I think the square ones are the WAH' and there must be people over here like yourself, DMF and NYS - Oh to find someone like that - we could DB each other. BB you really are good for our souls on these here boards and I love the way you make me look at things from a different angle....... Journalling...... H is working for us today and came into work early and was having a chat about his work. All was going well and I gave him some advice, which he actually admitted he should have listened to when I said it before but says he understands where I was coming from now. (Only as what I said has come true). Anyhow he asked what I have been doing and asked if I had spoken to anyone (Meaning mutual friends) and I said "Yes as a matter of fact I was speaking to Craig last night and he wants me to start up Indoor Beach Volleyball again" H said "What after all these years you are going to go back to it" and I said "Well yes I am we are going to get our old side back together, which will be alot of fun and if not anything else at least a laugh". H then asked what else he had to say and I said "Oh not much just that I had to get together with some old friends again and that I must go and stay at one of his holiday places" H seemed a bit miffed by this but hey why the hell shouldn't I. I really need to GAL and let him see that I am and not worry about how he feels about it as he has a mouth and can speak up at any time. So I succeeded in having a pleasant conversation with him about nothing in particular, offered him some advice with his work and was understanding so mission accomplished this time, here is hoping I can keep it up but it wasn't that hard ya know. I derived some devilish pleasure in letting him know I had offers of holidays, where I only needed spending money as he could have been involved if he was with me but he is not so he misses out and he needs to see all the things he will miss out on but hopefully more than that he will miss me and not what perks come with being with me and that I will have to be careful of as my H is very much for what benefits him. He is working here again tomorrow so I will update you if we have any further conversations worth mentioning....Till then....KDU
