Well, I wouldn't say 'gro up', but I am now determined on making a change. Being a pursuer got me nowhere. I am conciously seeking the path of the distancer. Freely taken from the list, this means:
* I will seek emotional distance and physical space
* I'm going to do what I want, and deal with my own emotions (or not) my way.
* I will not show my needs, emotions.
* I will not be emotionally available.
Driven by resent perhaps, but I think it's the only language she understands. Communication didn't get me anywhere, witholding physical attention and affection worked for a short moment, so pulling out emotionally on all levels is the only tool left at my disposal. Yes, I am at breaking point.
