BTW - the book (the Dance of Anger) itself is a great one. There is much to be learned from how we handle anger and conflict. In my R - our habitual methods of handling conflict happen to match our physical styles but that isn't always the case.
For those of us that are emotional pursuers and are married to distancers it is easy to understand how we get at such odds. For my H, the more I pursue him emotionally, the less he is able to emote. I KNOW that but yet the pursuer in me has trouble letting things lie for long.
I think it might be time to grow up though. Yesterday I had my latest R book open on the kitchen counter and H stopped by and had a look at the page which happened to be about controlling sexual impulses. The look on his face was "Oh no. What have I done this time" or "Oh no. She's not happy again." I felt embarrassed that once again I wasn't "happy" or "satisfied". I'm thinkin that it is probably time to do less reading and more talking or even more journaling (haven't written in that thing for a LONG time). H actually appears to be in a receptive mode lately and I will waste that if he feels as if I'm just complaining because I read something in some book somewhere.
I've also come to conclusion that H doesn't see himself as lacking in desire. He sees himself as overwhelmed which "can't be helped." I don't care about the label but it does affect how he views my reading that kind of literature - stuff about "rekindling desire" and so forth. He thinks that we both feel passionately for each other so therefore there is nothing to rekindle. The difference is that he has the luxury of "knowing" that I feel that for him whereas I don't "know" that he feels that for me.
This has been both on and off topic. Anyone who has any thoughts can share them here or on my other thread.
