I kept it business like this morning in my first email and just asked some pertinent questions over wording and job duties.
Didn't hear anything back, so I sent off a rough draft w/no message.
Immediately he's emailing me with: doesn't look bad, i'll be in touch
Ouch! don't know why that hurt.
I replied: don't worry, i'll work on it some other time (putting him off my list of things to do today!)
but he emails again: it does look good. just got up i will get back with you
he always has to have the last word in things!
I'm working on it in my spare time (which isn't much lately) and will wait for him to contact me a few times b4 I get back w/him on it.
Question here: I was thinking of asking him to help me w/my job search and can give him a lot of WOA there, but is that just opening it up to him that I can't take care of myself? Thoughts?
okay, since your assuming, I'm going to assume right along with you.
-what if he was trying to get a "feel" of how things are? -what if he was acting needy because he see's your life is going okay without him? -what if he really has started to see what he's missing? -what if the sky is orange and the water yellow?
As Bruce would say, Who cares???
Come on. Don't let yourself go there. Don't try to figure him out. You're doing so well, don't let this one phone call get to you. Please?
As for the resume, help him as you can and if he gets pissy, let him go on it.
You could always email and ask him in a playful kind of way that since you're helping him would he help you? Don't make it sound like you really need his help, but find a medium where if he wants to help you'd like it.
Okay, I'm stopping there. My brain and words are not connecting right now!
I know, focus on acting 'as if' not 'what if' I just keep rememberint the words of MWD - if you were to wake up tomorrow and be w/so, what would you be doing w/your time and energy. Well, it sure wouldn't be acting 'as if', I'd be making up for some lost time w/him!
I regress. He's out of the pic for now, I have errands to run and my own resume to work on. I will bring up the assistance w/job hunting later on, not sure if I like talking w/him by email tho!
Orange sky I could stand but not yellow water! ewww!
I am amazed at all of our ability to NOT be able to recognize when events in the relationship were going terribly wrong. We did not see the distance growing between us and the then significant other. And when much too late, we saw them slipping (running) away, we took ALL the wrong actions and did not know how to control our actions and reactions.
But now, suddenly, we can tell what the other person is thinking, feeling, believing, wants, needs through a BRIEF email or phone call or conversation, having NOTHING to do with RELATIONSHIPS past, present or future.
Remember, as they do with us, we have NO IDEA what they are doing, thinking, feeling, believing, wanting, understanding, how they are acting or WHY!
TURN THE FOCUS OFF THE WAS. Turn the focus to us, NOW. We are better, stronger, smarter, more aware than we were before ALL this nonsense started. If they cannot recognize the GREAT and WONDERFUL people they so selfishly left behind, then, too DAMN bad.
I am amazed at all of our ability to NOT be able to recognize when events in the relationship were going terribly wrong. We did not see the distance growing between us and the then significant other. And when much too late, we saw them slipping (running) away, we took ALL the wrong actions and did not know how to control our actions and reactions.
But now, suddenly, we can tell what the other person is thinking, feeling, believing, wants, needs through a BRIEF email or phone call or conversation, having NOTHING to do with RELATIONSHIPS past, present or future.
Remember, as they do with us, we have NO IDEA what they are doing, thinking, feeling, believing, wanting, understanding, how they are acting or WHY!
TURN THE FOCUS OFF THE WAS. Turn the focus to us, NOW. We are better, stronger, smarter, more aware than we were before ALL this nonsense started. If they cannot recognize the GREAT and WONDERFUL people they so selfishly left behind, then, too DAMN bad.
As you are saying that we have NO IDEA what they are doing, thinking, feeling, believing, wanting, understanding, how they are acting or WHY!;
YOU have NO IDEA what I am thinking, feeling, believing, wanting, understanding, or WHY -- even regarding the events, my thoughts, or actions prior to him WA.
If this is not a safe place to voice our thoughts, then why should I even be here? or any of us for that matter.
Well, out of the mouths of babes. S17 put me in my place, also.
My apologies here to you, Bruce, I overreacted.
As my son stated to me just now, what is posted online is for all to see and comment on, and disclaimers make no difference. If I can’t accept the comments, I shouldn’t be posting.
And my apologies to all, I had the need to state what was on my mind today and did that selfishly.
he always has to have the last word in things! 