I don't like that name....I think I'll switch. I wonder if la_esperanza is taken?
That's sweet of you to be so concerned about the new guy on the board. I'm good. I've been enjoying the life I do have without feeling I desperately need to add to it at the moment. I've been enjoying the time I have with my kids, playing volleyball, enjoying my times of solitude by doing a little home improvement, skating with the dog, going out occasionally with friends, drinking beer, and watching my broncos kick butt (except for that miserable dolphin game). The relationship I have with everyone in my life (including XW) is better than it's ever been because I'm back to being myself. No worries. Thanks for asking about me.
Patientia
P.S. What do you think of the name Goobersnipe?
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
Huh! At first read, I thought your name was Petunia. And you were able to teach your dog to skate? You have a cool dog - shreds anything paper and can skate. I'm looking forward to having a dog, but will wait until Christmas at least, I hope. S6 is pressing hard on that front.
Don't know if these are positive signs or not, I'll throw it out here for all to analyze, while I go back into my little cave.
So, he emailed 'want to talk, can we?' to which I emailed back of course! just give me a call.
And he did try 2x last nite and 3x tonight!
I only answer when it shows his number and most of those calls came in as 'unavailable'! The last one showed his # so I answered!
Wow. I was distant and he wanted to talk! Asked how we're doing, how the k's enjoy school, how are you doing, how does s17 like school, did he get all his classes, how is s9 doing in school, is he in fullday, is it at the same school that we drove by during his visit, where is s17's school, is he still doing all his activities, how am I doing, is s9 talking more, is he still sleeping good for me. Gosh, it was like being drilled!
He had a favor to ask me. Needs his resume updated if I can find the time, and he will pay me for it. (which I turned down being paid)
And then wanted to know again how I'm doing, and how the colors are changing up here, talked about the football game, and said he was getting worried about us. Started going into what times I can call him if I need to, (most anytime, no comments on keeping it to the free minutes) and I said I needed to go.
I am playing this cool.
He always likes to do AOS for others, wanted to do that quite a bit for me in the beginning of our R, (then of course, it changed to being taken advantage of?!) So, how do I tell if that is his LL?
And will the resume be an AOS that he will appreciate? Or am I letting my crazymaker get to me again?
I'm going back to my cave tonight so I can start climbing Mt Everest tomorrow! T
ps. I did answer all his questions on the kids, had a few chuckles from him over their antics, but avoided the one about me other than to say, I'm good!
T - sounds like a great phone call. Just don't read too much in to it (but to me it sounds like he's missing you all).
And will the resume be an AOS that he will appreciate? Or am I letting my crazymaker get to me again? I think even if AOS isn't his LL he's going to appreciate your help with his resume. Besides, it's a nice thing to do and it makes you feel better doing something nice for him. Right? So don't expect anything in return and do it if you really want to.
Quote: He always likes to do AOS for others, wanted to do that quite a bit for me in the beginning of our R, (then of course, it changed to being taken advantage of?!) So, how do I tell if that is his LL?
Often the person who performs AOS has WOA as their LL, because they do the AOS to hear the praise and affirmations after.
What about in an email telling him: -how good he sounded when you talked -how proud you are of his job search (is this right?) -or anything else you can pick out of the convo you had with him that would be a plus to him
He didn't really 'sound' good on the phone. Seemed kind of desperate and needy. (hmm- more on this later)
He didn't really talk about the job sitch and I didn't ask, this was actually an argument we had earlier this year. He wanted me to work on the resume right after the div, I was still in the 'needy' state and kept pushing to get us together. Looked up jobs around us that he could apply to, and he would keep telling me he's not qualified. It finally blew up to the point that 'he would never live here as he couldn't make enough to survive.' Things were also said that I'm just trying to get him away from his friends (ow!)
That's all water under the bridge tho, but gives me more reason to be surprised that he asked for my help. Another time when he last seen my resume, he stated that it was the worst thing I had ever came up w/ and just a bunch of lies. And if I put too much 'affirmation' in the resume, even w/things that he's done like managed people, he tells me that isn't the person he is but what I want him to be!
I know, only believe 1/2 of what he says! --more in a minute--
Overall, I thought our phone convo was great, but why do I have such a bleak outlook now? I kept having the thoughts in my head last nite of the first time we split and got back together! Not a pretty picture! And why would I want those thoughts?
Basically the first time we broke up went like this: We started dating, he proposed quickly and I moved in on him right after! 6 months later, he needs space and I did everything that I know now is wrong: begging, pleading, threatening. Finally I had to move out, he kept coming around until I said no more and I stopped calling him. Then he was back a week later, saying he was just confused and what could he ever do to make it up to me? (AOS?)
Anyways, that is the reason for my confusion today, not over him, but reliving the past mistakes and I don't want to! I can see now where I should have been apologizing to him back then and never did. Hmm, maybe I should bring that up sometime.
As I said in the previous post, he sounded needy last night. Wanting to talk to me in the worst way! (which does remind me of when he apologized 10 yrs ago for breaking my heart) No, there were no apologies during this convo, and I have made mine to him regarding things of this year. (just b4 dropping the rope)
I know this is ASSuming and it's where I can't turn off the crazymaker: it really seemed like he was getting a 'feel' for where he stands in my life. And I'm not doing the crazy route of being together again, going the other way and assuming he just wants a relief from his guilt so he can move on. I know, it's all analyzation, ASSumptions and expectations, but I can't seem to get it out of my mind, so it's going down here instead of venting at him.
I'm good. I've been enjoying the life I do have without feeling I desperately need to add to it at the moment. I've been enjoying the time I have with my kids, playing volleyball, enjoying my times of solitude by doing a little home improvement, skating with the dog, going out occasionally with friends, drinking beer, and watching my broncos kick butt (except for that miserable dolphin game). 
