Ok, I'll post this out here even tho my gut reaction is still telling me - "DO NOT REACT!"

First my reasons for being 'dark':

a) Ex imposed a lot of the restrictions on ways to contact him, (turned off landline, won't answer cell when I call, will only talk during 'free' minutes, will not return email ?'s) therefore, I am abiding by 'the rules'

b) any attempt to contact him seems to get turned into pursuit (even when I ?ed him about seeing s9 for his last bday)

c) when ex does call to talk it's all about 'him' and I don't need/want his drama right now

d) there are limits to showing how much gal I am doing when talking on the phone or email. Action of being gone, doing other things is showing that I do have a life outside of him.

e) the phone calls seem to be his way of being a good 'dad', checking in on s9 and saying hi on the phone instead of actually visiting, which is what s9 needs.

f) after the last positive f2f meeting, I knew there would be some retreating by him (almost 2 weeks!) and I wanted to have the action of my own retreat (a month or two! )
and finally

f) I decided on taking a 40 day sabbatical from him and getting a grip on my emotional state! (enjoying Gal activities, focusing on myself and k's, reading pdl and growing!)

As I said there has been a full gamut of emotions coming from him in his email. I did receive another one yesterday,
hello, have not been able to get in touch with you what is up are you all write write back 'ex'

and now have one today.
i need to talk with you call me or write back and let me know your all write 'ex'

(punctuation/spelling is left as he writes!)

In the past few days, I had made up my mind that I would send some schoolwork of s9's to him by snailmail, and follow up w/a vague email next week of "Everything's cool here!"

Should I break my pact w/myself of taking a time out and talk to him or just follow through w/my original plan? I do know that there has been problems w/his job; to what extent I don't know and am hoping this isn't going to affect the c/s payment as I am really counting on that. If that's what it is about, letting him stew on it and figure out what to do will be more productive than me stepping in to 'rescue' him.

Sorry I'm rambling now! Opinions?
T

ps. the mishap of the poopfest was followed last night by mom forgetting to put the baby powder away and it is now all over the bedroom! Looks like we had an early frost indoors! At least it smells much better!