LOL re the poopfest. Don't you love the dimensions that parenthood stretches you to?
I love how you're able to detach from the sitch in a way that includes distancing from his anger. The goal of having him initiate contact and for it to be positive/appropriate is very clear. Keep monitoring for any changes in pattern, trying s/t different if you need to.
If I remember correctly, his loving email followed some close/positive interactions b/t the two of you, with you doing a great job of as-if positivity. Its hard when there is rare, spontaneous contact but that might be your approach for when he calls.