Ha!!! You had me going there, T!! For awhile there, I thought you'd lost it, esp about being attracted to guy. Know what I'm sayin? Huh? You talkin to me??
Don't knock him; or I'll have to come over and breaka your arms!
But seriously, I just love anything Italian, spaghetti, lasagna, guys, tiramisu, tettrazini, guys, tortelini, Rome, manicotti, expresso, guys, biscotti, capaccinios, guys, the language, Marlon Brando as the Godfather, ..........
Ok, the mind is going in circles tonite and I can't make any sense of this. So I thought I would post it!
This one is about THE EX. I have actually been able to keep him and his sitch away from monopolizing my life lately. He's only called a couple of times since his last visit and I was out both times! A few emails, the one that said 'miss you all'; I ignored since there wasn't any good reply to that and another that said 'sorry haven't called, life's been busy' Couldn't really think of a good answer to that one either!
So anyway, he's been pretty quiet and then today, get this, I get his mail forwarded to me! There was only 3 pieces, and nothing important, but it was definitely addressed to his name and when I switched addresses after D, I clearly put just my name on the change. That was over 6 mos ago and most of my forwarded stuff has dwindled off.
This is just weird. I know that he will get p!ssed over any mail coming here. (I know, I know, someone will tell me I'm predicting his behavior, but this has happened b4 and he went off for days! but that's another long story ) So, really, I'm not trying to over analyze EX's actions; but to make sense of the actions of the USPS!
That's all. I just can't get that mail out of my mind today, but I guess it has deflected some of the pain of watching Michigan lose.
Whatcha doin for fun, T? Any girls nights out or escaping by yourself to a cafe etc...?
You are doing an awesome job as a mother. I just haven't read much lately about your selfcare, GAL stuff. Someone once said "Loving mothers love themselves." - probably someone's mother!
Hope your weekend went well, besides Michigan losing.
I've had to go underground for the day, Gabriel! It's a known fact around here that I root for Michigan and the neighbors are tormenting me!
A gal's nite sounds heavenly, but I haven't been able to work that one in just yet. But I will definitely do it when an opportunity presents itself.
Here's my goals from two months ago:
1. Continue w/job search and getting back on track w/career goals. Approaching this from a different perspective lately and things are falling into place. Will update more after I work out some details.
2. Continue w/toning regimen and my appearance. still working out some, should try and do more, but overall, I'm happy w/my appearance. (fit into my size 2 jeans yesterday even tho I'm a little bloated this w/e.)
3. Work on communication techniques. this one is tough! mom & dad called and dad wanted to b!tch about "my ex-h". (that's what he called him too, not by name!) but I let it go, since it's not my place to defend him w/them. One of my neighbors is getting on my nerves tho, as he won't let it go over the game, even tho I didn't rag on him about the Iowa/Ohio State game (he's from Iowa) but those arguments aren't worth my time!
4. Keep PMA up! definitely!
5. Do what works w/Ex! yep, doing this
6. Keep growing intellectually, spiritually and emotionally! still reading PDL and applying it!
One additional goal that I didn't put down here but that I'm really concentrating on: Keep s9 progressing forward! This is my main focus and things are moving along even if it's only baby steps w/him!
t/c all, I'll be around. I may be enjoying life outside of my M, but I'm not leaving the bb just yet! T
Seriously, isn't that a line from a movie? Maybe a horror sequel?
Actually, I haven't really left or went anywhere, just lurking more than posting. And trying to get someone's life in order, (not sure if it's mine or s9's) He had an accident last nite and came and told me immediately. So, it's not much but it's still progress. I was trying to fight off some bug yesterday, (in the bathroom more than online, if you get my drift ....eww!) and then when I took my dog out for his business, I stepped in some other dog's dodo. double eww..eww! Then I had to clean up s9! triple eww..eww..eww!!
Now that I have successfully grossed everyone out. I will post an update w/the ex sitch.
To backtrack a bit; I begged and pleaded over getting ex up here for s9's bday way too much. I realize that. It wasn't until I stopped talking to him on the phone that he finally made a visit. So back to what works. Since the visit, he's called about once every other week, but I was out on 2 of the calls and busy during the other one. I figure if he can't call back, then he wasn't really wanting to talk to me that badly.
The emails have gotten to me a little tho. First he was cheerful and saying 'miss you all', then it changed to some frustration 'would like to hear from you' to downright anger how is my son doing?
I knew that being dark w/him was going to get him upset. But I also feel like I am being baited here into an argument and that isn't going to work either. I'm going to continue to disregard any emails that are in this tone.
My goal is simple We want another visit. So, when he comes up w/that suggestion, I'll talk to him again. It's a long shot, but I am actually getting more comfortable by NOT falling back into the same patterns. (a 180 here - he used to call, email...I'd follow up w/a long discussion or message and then no word from him for days)
That's my sitch in a nutshell. Still keeping the PMA up, which was difficult yesterday being sick (and finding out Michigan isn't even ranked anymore ) and working on finding my true purpose. (might need some feedback/input there - hint, hint Gabe)
sorry to hear you've not been feeling well. And for all the "ewww"iness in your life lately! Glad to see your PMA is up and you're doing well. You should come visit more, we miss you!
LOL re the poopfest. Don't you love the dimensions that parenthood stretches you to?
I love how you're able to detach from the sitch in a way that includes distancing from his anger. The goal of having him initiate contact and for it to be positive/appropriate is very clear. Keep monitoring for any changes in pattern, trying s/t different if you need to.
If I remember correctly, his loving email followed some close/positive interactions b/t the two of you, with you doing a great job of as-if positivity. Its hard when there is rare, spontaneous contact but that might be your approach for when he calls.