PM,

Abysmal track record huh? Well, I hear a lady who is determined to have a family and that's admirable considering what men have put you through in the past. There is NO blame in wanting your kids to have a strong, healthy relationship.

It IS hard to be strong in the face of daily negativity. I'll have to think about that. I've been at this R for 18 years almost and have thought many times that ending it was the answer. I guess we all have our track records.. one would think after 18 years, our sitch would be figured out! Take heart though.. kids benefit by having one parent who's a good example. I used to think that my H would screw them up and they'd end up acting like him, or hate me for staying. We have a S19 and D11 (S5, S2 also), and the kids are more resiliant than I am. S19 might be benefiting from seeing how H is living life by not living his life that way. The father that I thought would teach them to be short-tempered,impatient, passive and irresponsible has helped me raise kids that are independent and successful so far.. S19 is on a full engineering scholarship and self supporting at his age. He's also devoted to our family and has had a healthy R with his GF for over two years. Go figure. Maybe what doesn't kill us makes us strong! I imagine your D will put your H's comments out of her mind before you do.. I sure hope so.