need a little input on this idea

[purplepermelia]

Thanks sage! Any help I can get on this idea of "blindsiding" is important. H and I are on two different emotional levels. I've learned how to let most things roll off me.

H swears at traffic lights, at the computer, at the coffee pot . . . He is especially ornery lately with all the heavy stressors.

I never confront him with my anger. The situation over his inappropriate comment in front of our D was atypical; however, by that time I had added every error he had ever made into the anger. It's no surprise that it went terribly.

I should have waited to discuss it when I could have been calm.

I do fall into the trap of assigning meaning to some of his expletives or outbursts that is inappropriate. I'm rather jaded at this point, because he's been "stressed" since last fall. I must resolve to be tougher.

I think your third idea is the one that I particularly needed to hear. He needs to know that we do need to talk about serious issues in spite of his state of mind, but we can do it when we are both in a calmer place.