H has been saying that I "blind-side" him with my anger. Typically what happens is that I will hold off on actually confronting him until a couple of days after the incident. He claims that my approach is all wrong, but complains that I wait to discuss important issues. Let me tell you a specific incident.
When he said in front of our 4 year old daughter that he wanted to "kill himself." I was shocked. I asked him calmly to talk to her and reassure her. He said, "she's too young to understand." At that point I wanted to yell, but I just walked away.
After explaining what occurred to several friends, I realized that this was too important to allow it to slide. Yes, a few other events happened and by the time he came home one night I was very unhappy. He asked, "What's wrong?" I told him. He became defensive and it turned into a nasty argument.
So we discussed this with the therapist who suggests that I get angry with him when the event occurs. I know I tend to hold onto to my emotions and decide whether or not the confrontation is worthwhile. That doesn't seem to be working for me.
Does that mean that I should just allow my opinions to fly when they pop into my head? How else do I keep from "blind-siding" him?
married 6 years, mom of 2 struggling to make a strong family
