Quote: no, I know he has a female friend that he talks to and we have had converstions about this subject
My personal opinion is that it is playing with fire to discuss marital issues with a friend of the opposite gender (applies toward friends of the same gender if you're gay).
There are a couple of reasons that I suggest caution on doing this.
1. Sharing problems about your intimate relationship with an opposite gender friend, is sharing intimate info that easily, quickly develops intimacy in the friendship. There is an additional bonding that occurs when you're pouring out your deeper hurts, issues and problems to someone who already is open to you.
2. It brings a third person into your marriage. We're not talking about the occasional bitch-fest that many of us can participate in with regards to marriage. For the deeper types of conversations regarding a troubled marriage, a professional should perhaps be utilized. A therapist, a pastor, an older stable couple, etc - not your close friend of the opposite gender.
3. This person can quickly become an ideal to which the other spouse can get compared. The thought process can go like this, "She's just a friend - but she understands me better than you do, she knows how deeply I've been hurt, she would never do to me what you have done, why she teared up when I was telling her about our problems..."
I'm not saying or hinting that anything inappropriate is going on, I am only saying that this is a very vulnerable activity that can go wrong quickly.
