Wow- it's been awhile since I've posted. We last left of with MC to start in Jan if things weren't improving. No improvement, no MC. H says he won't go, there isn't a need. I am thinking of going on my own. I guess just to talk out the whole HD/LD sitch. Find out if I am rightfully thinking I deserve a physical affection in my marriage.

For a couple months I had been thinking that there is just no way I can go on forever dealing with this. That it was probably easier to leave and get a D. At least I could be happy, right?

It's taken me this time to realize that I don't think that I could find anyone that makes me happier than my H. We do really well together if it weren't for the lack of sex. We are trying hard to build the "family feelings" we have been lacking the past 18 mo. since our S was born. We are getting there. He really needs to feel happy as a family. Maybe I need to put more effort into that.

It's getting longer and longer between each time we ML. We're hitting the 5-6 week marks now. It's never been that long between. I had a chance to meet up with an old co-worker (male) for "happy hour". I said yes and then couldn't make myself go. I was so afraid of what going to meet him meant. I knew it was leaving things open for something to happen. It was then I really decided that I am not going to leave just b/c of sex. As one of the previous posts asked "If you could never have sex again..." If we couldn't for some reason, he's the best person to spend my life with.

Okay, so a new perspective on things is good. More positive.

Thanks for listening to me ramble. It's nice to have a place to journal, share...with no judgment.

Nicky


"There are two types of people -- those who come into a room and say, 'Well, here I am,' and those who come in and say, 'Ah, there you are.'" Frederick Collins