Quote: What a horrible question. That's one of my biggest fears, that the ass my XH is now is who he really is. That would just be horrible.
No one is the sum of their behaviors. The X may act selfish or like an ass, but that doesn't define them. But it is worth asking yourself if perhaps during this period of growth whether the one we want back in our lives is really the person for us anymore. I've heard it said many times on here that "I wouldn't take him/her back as they currently are", but to love unconditionally is to accept him/her for how they are and have no expectations that they will change for the better to suit you or anyone else. So you do need to ask..."is this what I want?"
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
