The controlling post was perfect timing. I know it's hard to keep your lip zipped when you don't agree with something, but when you always have a comment about something she does with your S, it will come off both as controlling and as disrespect for her parenting abilities (I find it hard to believe she'd have pull ups on him too, but couldn't you have handled it differently? For example...a question..."Has S6 been having accidents/wet the bed?") Or did you do that?
You handled the conversation otherwise pretty well. You're right. Your focus needs to be on yourself because your X has a long ways to go in terms of diffusing the anger. I've actually wondered for several weeks when your son's anxiety about you getting back together would come back to bite you in the butt. It's hard to manage it initially. You might want to try not discussing it at all. Avoid the subject a bit. It's not like you haven't talked about it before.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
