Had a nice couple days with S6. We hung out at my place one eve, then went camping & kayaking at an oceanside campsite. Very nice to just lounge around and play with S6, who brought a set of action-figure toys to play with on the beach. It rained heavily last night on our campsite, so it was a bit soggy at packup, but otherwise a nice outing.
I felt a bit on edge the whole time, couldn't quite shake it, and just feel relaxed. Part of that may be that I went while still a bit sick, but the rest I think is just stress. It was a hard week. On the ride home, S6 said XW told him I have a GF. I told him no. He stated, "I know mommy had BFs cause she looks at them on the computer." Awww! I tried to change the subject, then S6 asked me, "Dad, do you want our family to get back together?" I replied, "What do you want, S6?" He stated, "I do if you do." I stated, "I'm looking forward to getting back into the house, S6. I don't want another R with another W right now, S6." When S6 said, "Dear God, please help my family not be apart", I had to look away (hard to do when you're driving) cause he had successfully triggered the emotion trapped inside of me all weekend.
At dropoff Sun am, XW arrived dressed like she had just gotten back from a night of partying. Looked like an 18yo girl, but I guess she's gotta figure out whether that's hip at 34 or not. I called her a few min later to discuss S6's school clothes sitch. Told her that on Fri am, found I could barely snap his pants, and his shirt collar was too tight as well. I asked her to buy him more school clothes, and then she complained about the cost. I stated that I've bought most of his school clothes and shoes over the past year, but that I was not going to do so anymore, as it was her responsibility according to the D agreement.
When she repeated the money issue, I said surely she couldn't be that broke, as she had $40k sitting in her savings just 4 mo ago. She started to slip into attack mode, saying I was condescending, so I pointed out, "XW, it makes me ill to have to point out your responsibilities to you. I hate having to do this, and the only reason I do is b/c of our son. He deserves better than too small of clothing. I know you can afford that, b/c I give you ample money to support him. I would like nothing better than to not have these kind of conversations." This seemed to sink in, and we ended the convo having successfully avoided escalation. A rough convo, but I was able to slip in here and there validations about her busyness and effort (acting 'as-if' partly on some of that), and it seemed to help keep the convo reasonably calm.
I'm heading out of town to check out a kayak sale, may paddle around a bit while there, before coming home in tomorrow night. Hope all of you are doing well.
