Ahh! the fights, the anger, accusations and the ensuing resentment. Makes me remember better times w/my ex!
Only half kidding there! It's no fun being caught in the predicaments like this, but at that time I was so ready to be div. If only I could get that feeling back, it would be easier to move on. but, no, I let go of my anger towards ex, and my resentment of the stuff he done. (silly me!)
Relax, Gabriel, that episode is past, hopefully no more stress for today. (oh, you have the stress class, tho!) Keep in mind that it isn't always about you, there are external causes that s/t drives these exes.
If the melatonin doesn't work, some b vitamins are good for stress and magnesium helps w/relaxation. T
I found both your posts reassuring. Wes, if your Ex1 could still be rethinking things after the D despite no DBing, than maybe there's hope for me. T, thanks, I'll chaulk it up to the past and stay focused on my goals.
To help root me out of this rotten mood, I snuck out of the office and lifted wts and ran. I arrived sweating to the extra "Stress" class, but it felt excellent.
I'm starting to look into flooring options for the house. Yippee!
I'm sorry this has happened. Just think of it as a flash in the pan, so to speak. I think she's taking your parenting and finances for granted and I think you are letting your resentment get to you.
Just think to yourself, which is more important, getting what you need (peace and sanity) or being right?
At the end of the day, it doesn't matter which one of you is right or wrong. If you feel taken for granted, simply DON'T be there as much and then she will learn she CAN'T do it. You are letting her hurt you. She will respect you more if you're not there for her all the time.
As well as this, by taking the bait in an argument, you are only making yourself feel bad and upsetting yourself.
In my sitch, I could get upset about OW and LOADS of things he's done but if I invested my energy into that, I would make myself miserable, and you know what, I love me more than that and I deserve to be happy so I let the resentment go in order to let the positive in.
Even if I never get my family back, I will at least be content and not bitter about stuff, because I have protected ME. And this is what you need to do more, get that self-love and self protection going more than it is.
The anger as you know, is not about you. Nonetheless, it still makes it very difficult to deal with, especially when you have no idea when it will strike. The tendency to defend oneself is very strong and though we know we should not always do so (there is a balance between defense and being pushed too far) rarely is there a long term benefit to a relationship when battling.
You do not want to give in to her every angry outburst, but at this time, there really is little you can do to placate her or get your point across effectively.
Try as impossible as it is, not to overreact and find balance and be consistent.
I'm doing fine - thanks for checking. Just crazy busy here at work today, then had to jet out to spend the afternoon/eve with S6. Great time with him, then he broke down just before we were to leave, with full body sobs as he said he wanted to stay and live with me. Ouch. Felt very helpless there, but validated his feelings of missing me, noted mine re missing him, told him how much I and XW love him. Lots of snuggling.
I'll be picking him up to take him to school, so we'll be able to check in then. God, please have mercy on my little boy, buffering him from as much pain as possible. Help me to not add to his pain.
Busy day, a bit of a cold coming on, but still feeling good.
S6 was fine this am, talking w/me on the way to school. XW called me at work, asking if I'd take him into school tomorrow, as she has a TV interview about the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina.
I said 'sure' and 'that's great' and she let loose with anecdotes and worries, and some laughter. I actually just listened and then shifted topic back to S6 and the arrangement of picking him up earlier than usual. Trying to do s/t different here - less barking and snarling, more quiet/distant yet friendly interaction style.
