Meet The Non-Fockers

[sat567]

I watched “Meet the Fockers” with my wife a few nights ago. I’m not going to explain the background of movie. If you want to learn more, go here..

I liked the movie. I thought it was very funny. I like Dustin Hoffman and Barbra Streisand and thought they did a great job portraying the sex-obsessed couple. My wife did not like the movie.

This morning, she said, “I know why you liked that movie. Because they (Hoffman and Streisand) portrayed the perfect marriage for you. Sex all the time. She’s a sex therapist and he basically doesn’t work, stays around the house, is a slob.... That’s perfection for you.”

She was walking in and out of the room, so I didn’t get a chance to reply. But the more I think about it, the more upset I am getting. I’m trying to figure out the nuances of why I’m angry.

1. Yes, it would be ideal to have “sex all the time.” The couple portrayed in the movie, though was, to me, exaggerated to the point of absurdity. That’s why it was funny. And they didn’t really care what people thought of them. I like that. They were comfortable with sex, comfortable with themselves, and light hearted. Yes, that would be ideal. I want to be in a marriage with someone with which I can be comfortable. I want to be able to joke about making love. I want to make love often.

2. Do I want to be someone whose wife supports him so he can stay at home and be a slob? No. Where the fock did she get that idea? This, after a day (Sunday) spent going to her favorite house of worship, mowing the lawn, cleaning off the deck, making her dinner, cleaning the kitchen, and basically not sitting down until after dinner was over. It’s like she has this idea in her head that men are lazy slobs and I must be a lazy slob because I’m a man.

So here’s why I’m angry, in diminishing order of anger: I’m angry because she thinks I aspire to be (and apparently already am) a lazy slob. I’m disturbed that she thinks she “knows” why I liked this movie. And I’m mildly annoyed, but not surprised, that she spoke of the Focker’s sexual relationship with disdain.

We have a counseling session tomorrow morning. Oh, and we’re going on a short vacation with DD4 to Colorado over Labor Day weekend. So we’ll have lots of time to talk, or not.

Hairdog

[annette]

You don't sound very lazy to me HairyDoggie

Does she not see all the thing you do?
Annette

[sat567]

I think she does see all the things I do. I think she has to create some sort of strife or conflict so that she can continue to push me away. Sometimes, she just has to manufacture that conflict because I am giving her few reasons to complain.

I'm not perfect, but I deserve a lot more credit than she gives me.

It just gets tiresome, ya know?

Hairdog

[Hopeful_Future]

*huge hugs*

[annette]

Yes, it gets tough. Hopefully your C session will turn out something good

Annette

[Greeneyedlass]

Hairdoggie,

I thought "Meet the Fockers" was hilarious too...so did my LDH.

I think MrsHairdog has to come up with things to justify her position. You must want X therefore you must be Y. So, in order for you to think that the sexual R the Fokers had would be nice....then you must also really want to be that lazy slob who wants his W to support him. I don't know that she's saying you ARE a lazy slob....I thinks she's just trying to justify that if you want one then you must truly want the other too. Did that make sense? It's like she can't see that there is a happy-medium to it. Where...you don't exactly boink like bunnies every day on every piece of furniture you own in the house causing a constant state of mess and disarray......but you have a mutually satisfying SL AND are able to make sure the chores are done, dinner is cooked, and the mortgage is paid.

GEL

[grislen]

HD,

I really enjoyed that movie. But if I remember correctly wasn't his father an MD or something like that. I don't know if you watched the movie but it seemed to me that the house was pretty organized. But anyway I think you should tell your wife off . Why is this so threating to her?

Lee

[sat567]

Bernard Focker (Dustin Hoffman) was an attorney, but he had retired early because his wife's practice as a sex therapist was enough to support them.

Hairdog

[OG_Lou]

Re: HD after a day (Sunday) spent going to her favorite house of worship, mowing the lawn, cleaning off the deck, making her dinner, cleaning the kitchen, and basically not sitting down until after dinner was over. It’s like she has this idea in her head that men are lazy slobs and I must be a lazy slob because I’m a man.
HairDog. You have me beat. I do most of the things on your list but not all in one day. I am seeing the more you do, the less you are appreciated.

So here’s why I’m angry, in diminishing order of anger: I’m angry because she thinks I aspire to be (and apparently already am) a lazy slob. I’m disturbed that she thinks she “knows” why I liked this movie. And I’m mildly annoyed, but not surprised, that she spoke of the Focker’s sexual relationship with disdain.

The (she thinks she “knows”) A, B, and C better than I know A, B, or C is a big one for me to deal with. I don't know what to say to change her mind, so I quit trying to convince BB of anything and started saying, if she knew better than me, she should join Miss Cleo Psychic Reading hot line because that work was a lot easier than being a nurse. (Sorry another analogy that did not work)

Explaining what you mean or intend more than once does not work so don't go there. Like the book said, she heard you the first time many years ago. I guess small up dates are good to give out.

I aspire to be (and apparently already am) a lazy slob.
Anyone not as neat as her is a slob. BTDT. BTW some clutter does not bother me aslong as the clutter does not smell or have medical hazards.

And yes, being a man sounds like you can never be perfect, so don't try. Most men are pigs/cheaters/drunks. Just watch the cheating/drunk husband type movies on the Lifetime Network. I quit watching the network and life got better.

Would your W like Sally Field in "Not Without my child" That is about men and their religious beliefs that leads to men controling most of family life. I bet that movie will reinforce her belief that women need more power in the world.

I thought it was a good movie and did show that in some cultures men do have too much power in society. But not to ther point that says all men are pigs or domeneering and women need to take over the world.

Lou

[cinemanymph]

I just saw Meet the Parents, haven't seen Fockers yet, but will put it on the veiwing list. You are still maintaining a sense of humor and that is wonderful.

Do you think that Mrs.HD could be convinced that sex is good for her as opposed to something to please lazy slobby men?