I watched “Meet the Fockers” with my wife a few nights ago. I’m not going to explain the background of movie. If you want to learn more, go here..
I liked the movie. I thought it was very funny. I like Dustin Hoffman and Barbra Streisand and thought they did a great job portraying the sex-obsessed couple. My wife did not like the movie.
This morning, she said, “I know why you liked that movie. Because they (Hoffman and Streisand) portrayed the perfect marriage for you. Sex all the time. She’s a sex therapist and he basically doesn’t work, stays around the house, is a slob.... That’s perfection for you.”
She was walking in and out of the room, so I didn’t get a chance to reply. But the more I think about it, the more upset I am getting. I’m trying to figure out the nuances of why I’m angry.
1. Yes, it would be ideal to have “sex all the time.” The couple portrayed in the movie, though was, to me, exaggerated to the point of absurdity. That’s why it was funny. And they didn’t really care what people thought of them. I like that. They were comfortable with sex, comfortable with themselves, and light hearted. Yes, that would be ideal. I want to be in a marriage with someone with which I can be comfortable. I want to be able to joke about making love. I want to make love often.
2. Do I want to be someone whose wife supports him so he can stay at home and be a slob? No. Where the fock did she get that idea? This, after a day (Sunday) spent going to her favorite house of worship, mowing the lawn, cleaning off the deck, making her dinner, cleaning the kitchen, and basically not sitting down until after dinner was over. It’s like she has this idea in her head that men are lazy slobs and I must be a lazy slob because I’m a man.
So here’s why I’m angry, in diminishing order of anger: I’m angry because she thinks I aspire to be (and apparently already am) a lazy slob. I’m disturbed that she thinks she “knows” why I liked this movie. And I’m mildly annoyed, but not surprised, that she spoke of the Focker’s sexual relationship with disdain.
We have a counseling session tomorrow morning. Oh, and we’re going on a short vacation with DD4 to Colorado over Labor Day weekend. So we’ll have lots of time to talk, or not.
