Well, I guess I don't have to say where I stand (but I will ): it is not for any of us to approve or disapprove unless we truly know what it is to be in this situation.

But if you want to know more about this kind of sitch and how totally heartbreaking it can be, I'll refer you to the message boards at wellspouse.org. I started reading it when my husband's multiple surgeries and disabilities started eating us up separately and together. These are individuals who are married to people in varying levels of disability and illness. In some cases the spouse is completely disabled mentally and physically and has been so for 20-30 years. Sometimes there was an accident or the onset of MS right after the wedding. In other cases there are long and debilitating (but not quickly terminal) diseases like ALS and Alzheimer's. Spouses who have to change diapers and perform various types of physical maintenance several times a day have a very hard time feeling sexual. I hope no one leaps in here and reminds us all that the vows say "in sickness and in health" until and unless he or she has walked a thousand miles in those moccasins.

That message board by no means focuses on sexual issues-- they cover the waterfront. But this is a world that is hard to imagine... no one knows what goes on behind those closed doors. Not every disabled couple is a Dana and Chris Reeve (God rest his beautiful soul). And we don't really know what they went through in private either.