Actually, I've never made such a list. We did discuss the dog thing in C, but nothing ever came of it. W admitted that it was not a good thing for her to get more dogs after I had very specifically told her not to, but what really happened was that she just quit asking me. That way I never had the opportunity to say no.
And before anybody starts coming down on me, yes, I know I could/should have done the boundary and consequence thing. But at the time that this was coming out in C, I was coming out of the A and didn’t feel that I was in a position to make demands. Even now, I don’t know what consequences I would be willing to enforce. I can draw the line in the sand about taking in any more animals, but when she crosses it, I can’t throw the animal out into the cold. So what has developed is a pattern where I draw a boundary with no consequences, she ignores it, and I redraw the boundary. I’m not willing to toss the animals out and I’m not willing to leave her over them. Yet.
HP,
This has been an issue ever since we passed two dogs. I'll admit that it doesn't bother me quite as much when there is regular sex, but that’s not because it ceases to be an issue with me. When there’s regular sex, the obsession with animals still bothers me, but I don’t feel quite as unimportant to her. Objectively, I recognize that I still come in behind the animals on her priority list, but it’s easier to take when I’m getting at least a little attention.
Quote: I have two issues with my wife. First of all, I've endured 30 years of sexless marriage with her and secondly, I've done it while she has been obssessed with animals that run our lives.
With that one sentence you have pretty much summed up my M. And even though I’m generally a pretty positive, cup is half full kind of guy, I think that a lot of the time my life is miserable. I just keep trying to make that lemonade.
