Speaking for myself only on this...if someone did to me what I did when my H wasn't participating...it would have gotten my attention, but that's me. The reason it would get my attention is, take my XH for example when I was LD....I knew he had a high SD...I knew he wanted sex a lot...I knew it was important to him....I had no desire for him. So, if he'd have stopped in the middle on me...I'd have gone "whoa! He's always after me for sex, now he's getting it...and he's stopping? Why?" For me it would have had an impact....that's one reasy I did what I did when my H just laid there.
And once again IMPO...if you feel like you are the only one participating....tell her that. What I told my H was..."yes, you're here but you aren't participating. You aren't touching me anywhere, you aren't moving at all...you are leaving it to me to do everything. I may as well be doing this myself."
What I said might have hurt him, but it was truthful and honest. It also lead to one of our more productive conversations.
