Karen, I think that works both ways. To the LD, an HD's constant begging and whining about lackanookie no doubt comes across as a weakness. On the otherhand, the LD's lack of desire might also be a sign of weakness to the HD, especially if there is a lot of avoidance behavior rather than confronting the issue directly. AHH, as I am writing this I am losing my argument, so perhaps nevermind.

Anyway, that wasn't what motivated my response. I agree wholeheartedly that nothing we as HDs can do is going to 'fix' the situation entirely: the LDs need to figure out their sexualities for themselves. Unfortunately, I don't see that self motivation happening for them as long as they are not uncomfortable with the status quo. From what I have seen in my own relationship as well as in others kind enough to post their sitches here is that unless the rug is pulled out from under them somehow, that motivation does not happen, period. I lost my patience with that lack of motivation, and I got darned tired of trying to gently tug on the rug. I guess it goes to show that you need to yank the rug really hard to pull it out from under them . I just never mustered the courage to pull the rug hard enough to make a difference I guess. Anyway, I got so tired of pushing and pulling with lackluster results that I've reached a place where I've lost that loving feeling and I really don't care much what happens next. I don't know exactly what happened, the loving feelings just sort of evaporated and quite suddenly I might add. I hate this feeling, but the lack of results from most everything I have tried leaves me very unmotivated to try anything more. I feel very much like the boy that didn't like the way the game was going so he just took the ball and went home. I'm hoping the loving feeling will return if for no other reason than for the sake of my kids, but I don't think it will until she decides to become proactive instead of reactive in regards to our relationship and sex.