Thanks Mrs. That is a great start. I fail to understand how these things come as such a suprise to H when I continually express the same types of concerns. They might come with different words or issues attached but they all still fit in the same category. He is a very smart man. I wish he would stop acting so dumb. I am sure I do the same thing to him in my own way.
I have tried to put numbers and schedules into place. H resists that like poison. He wants to be "spontaneous." I pointed out to him that "spontaneity" gets us sex every two to four weeks (sometimes six) and dinner together once every couple of months. He just says he'll "try harder." And then he does. For a few weeks.
I really liked what you said about being seen as a source of pressure. I liked what you said about having strong needs and desires and wanting to be responded to sexually. I liked what you said about wanting him to be excited about an activity with me. I have said all that in one form or another many times. Sometimes, in my own head, all I hear when I make these lists is "I want. I want. I want." I DON'T want to be brat. I DONT want to be a complainer. I DON'T want my honest efforts at having a healthier, happier marriage to result in an H who begrudgingly goes through the motions - of sex, of fun, of date night, of talking, of touching....
