Cemar - I DO go bare to bed - OFTEN and believe me it is no guarantee. Sometimes it just rates a contented snore from H.
GEL - yeah I agree that the occasional sexy communication buys some good will. Not sex but goodwill and is worth it when I can handle the feelings of rejection when I get the appreciative reaction but more than a week passes with no passes.
Currently, I am having some religious issue related to all of this. I realized this Sunday that when I pray about our M I often thank God for a husband who loves me "as best he can" which is true and it is equally true that I often don't feel loved. How sad.
Case in point... Our church is offering Italian lessons and H was really excited about this. I said, "oh too bad I have cheering practice with DD8 that night." He decided to take the class which is fine but he never expressed regret that we couldn't do it together nor did he even sound as if he gave a sh!t whether I was interested in it or not. Also, about two months ago I sent him an email about some ballroom dance classes that were starting in the fall for 6weeks on a night we could attend and he just let that one drop even though he had said a long time ago that he would be interested in taking dance lessons together. I don't care if he takes the class I am just getting tired of having every bid for togetherness blocked.
We went to dinner Saturday night. It was nice. H talked incessantly about the kids or his newly discovered high cholesterol and the need to change his diet. Any time I tried to bring up an "us" topic he was noncommittal and moved on. Our neighbors are splitting up after one year of M - I don't plan to leave but am I doomed to an emotional divorce?
I don't know how much longer I can stay emotionally investested with very little pay off. So much for staying positive and acting "as if."
