I can see how your trust will take so long to rebuild. Your H made so many bad choices that it must be hard to let them go. And let go of the fear that he will continue to make them.
Since you can't control him, it's time to take that energy and focus it back on yourself. Do some things without H, so that you aren't as vulnerable to these thoughts and fears. Make your efforts towards Piglet, and things may shift back into an easier groove.
You're doing so well, and it's just easy to get caught up in worrying about the future. Trust will come with time, once you stop stressing yourself out. But it's a process and you should be gentle with yourself throughout.
