Need Advice on How to Move On

[Burgbud]

Okay, I've really gotta beg your indulgence for this one. I'm not usually much of one to worry a whole lot about thread hijacking, except to mildly chastise those who apologize for it on my thread. But this is gonna be way over the line. I'm gonna do it anyway because:

• I feel very whiny and self-pitying about it and I'm sure the poor folks who follow my thread already feel more sorry for me than they need to.
• I sorta feel like I'm revealing information told to me in confidence. But I feel compelled to get this out there. And if W comes checking up on me at some future date on this website she'll find my thread without much difficulty, but it would take a great deal of patience to follow me around through everybody else's threads. So I should be a little safer here.
• You have a unique perspective that might be pretty valuable in looking at this (at least some of it).
• Your post left the door a little open. I'm pretty sure you'll see the error of your ways so this will be my only shot!

All right, here goes. You read my post yesterday when I talked about how the Om wasn't nearly as squared away as I originally thought. Here's some details. I'll skip as much as I can. This all came out yesterday. Om is in the Army. He has some secret job that is apparently dangerous and involves killing people directly (i.e. not with a tank). He's also supposedly getting out next month. But something went wrong on his last mission. At some point afterwards he knocked back a few cold ones then went and told off some "prima donnas". Of which at least one was somewhere above him in his chain of command because he's now lost his security clearance and isn't allowed in the building where he works.

Remember her two peas in a pod comment? She was saying that the two of them both like to create their own dramas.

And <sigh> this from today. She's downstairs picking up her stuff and putting things away. She brings up a couple of Exacto knives and a pack of extra blades. She asks me to put them away. I take them and don't think anything of it because I'm not too bright. Then she says with half a smile, "Put them where I don't know where they are."

Now I get the whole neglected-wife-in-a-loveless-marriage-falls-for-noble-warrior-high-school-flame thing. But (not a rhetorical question here) is there any way this R is anything other than a train wreck? Is there any way she comes out of this better than when she went in? Seriously...if you can think of a way I'd love to know. Because I'm finding myself getting sucked back into "have to be there for her when she falls so nothing really bad happens" mode. And I think it was better when I was in "not responsible for her health" mode.

You asked if I thought she was comparing Rs. I'm 95% confident she isn't. She still sees us as completely done. But as I was typing this she started talking about her childhood abuse issues and talking about how she needs to figure out how to work through all her anger, etc. She had spilled watermelon juice on her pj pants. So she's up here in a TShirt and underwear. She was pretty bold about it at first but eventually apologized for it and put a blanket on her lap. The point I'm trying to make is she seems awfully comfortable with me for as much as she holds against me. I don't get it. Maybe I'm not supposed to?

Okay, I feel better just having typed it. So if you don't have much to say I don't blame you and it's alright. But if you do have any input, no matter how speculative, I'm interested in hearing it. I hate the phrase "sorry for the hijack" but it's definitely appropriate here.

(Forgot to say this the first time...) I really felt the need to get this out there so I could move past it and be positive. So thanks!