...today, three checks he wrote cleared on my account.
Is there a reasonable way you can prevent him from having access to your checks? And thereby remove the temptation?
Barring that, since your problem is less with the money being spent and more about being surprised by it, would he agree (and follow through) with the idea of leaving a sticky note by your computer listing the check amounts on the day he writes them?
Now for the more complicated and speculative part...
Obviously he'd rather face your anger over his writing of the checks than whatever consequence he'd get for not writing the checks in the first place. Maybe it's only because he's getting what he wants with the check now and he doesn't have to deal with your anger until later. Maybe he categorizes your anger as unjustified and he can easily dismiss it. Perhaps not a whole lot you can do in the short term if either of those are the case.
But if he's writing the checks to cover his butt financially then maybe he's scared of looking like a man who can't handle money. He'd rather deal with that perception in private with you than publicly. If that's the case can you get into a discussion with him about it and validate his feelings until he comes up with his own solution?
BTW, I don't blame you a bit for being p*ssed off!
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