I'm wearing my "It's ALL About ME Shirt Today"! I shoulda had it on yesterday I guess. Weds and Sun are BMA days for me. Not sure why, but it's a pattern. I've always had a prob with hump day. Then Thurs and Fri it's like I'm shot out of a cannon.. lots of energy and a great attitude. And this morning, I like H again. Poor man..I'm SO glad I didn't vent my frustrations and feelings on him yesterday. As much as I told myself that I didn't let his afternoon irritations control me, or affect me, I clearly do. Instead of trying to help ease his stress, I decided he was unlikable, therefore, not worthy of my efforts. Part of that is because I wasn't in a great place stress wise myself.. plate was full, but mostly it was an excuse for dealing with my stress. I had the worst headache last night.. it's become a symptom of not dealing with my fatigue and stress. And it's sinus season in sinus valley.. only makes it worse around here. H became considerably more likable than I am when we went to bed last night. He recognized the stress I'm under at work and how tired I am.. I was FAMISHED all evening.. grazing on everything, which is also a sign that I'm stressing. And true to the fact that he really does care how I feel, he decided to help. Why didn't I make that choice for him when he was stressing? I can say that I don't know what to do, but there were options. The other night taking the kids away for awhile helped him to relax and re-group. Last night was church night, but his youth were off at a concert and he decided to leave it up to the youth pastor to go with them. That should've been my first clue that he needed to relax and be by himself for awhile. He's always jazzed about being with those kids, but he didnt have it last night. We need to sit down and discuss this and what we can do to help each other through times when we are grouchy and tired. H did very well on his own. He got out the lotion and gave me a full massage before we went to sleep and reconnected with me. Smart man... it usually gets him what he wants..lol. And this morning I woke up ready to do the "love is a verb" thing again. Let him sleep in while I took the kids to school and I stopped at the donut shop because he has a Thurs donut habit. I cleaned up a bit and when he got up he said "Hey! Today was supposed to be your day to be pampered by me." I told him that he did a great job of pampering me last night and it's his turn. So, all's well when someone in the R gets their head out and tries to put the other person before himmself. I need to cultivate that talent and make it a regular habit! The more loving we are, the more loving we want to be because the results are instantaneous (not sure I've ever typed that word before!).
Anyway, I'm off to meet a GF for breakfast.. leaving H on his own this morning to do H stuff. Looking forward to a great afternoon with him. I know we'll be having an R discussion later, so I'm glad the day is getting off to a good start and I've shed my BMA.
