Hi Anna.. I've gotten a lot from your posts too.. thanks! Hmm... H follows me around for an R talk because he is afraid. He absolutely hates for me to be upset, or angry at him, and if I ever say that I'm not sure about us.. or if Im not reassuring him of my love, he feels insecure. It's probably the biggest reason for his dishonesty - he is afraid right now, very soon after the bomb, that I'm going to give up on him. He said one of the biggest reasons for the EA and one night stand was because he was pretrified of spending the rest of his life alone.
He hasn't always been this way. He used to HATE R talks. Maybe it's because Im having doubts about us and his reaction is typical of a LBS. He sees me slipping away and is telling me how good things will be, how much he loves me, pleading, etc so that I won't reject him.
Sorry if that doesnt help much. When I was DB-ing and he was not at home, the number one thing I did to get him to pursue, was to have a friend ring my cell when I was with him. I'd hit ignore and he'd ask who it was.. I'd say "oh, it's nothing important" Then as he or I left, I made sure to get right on that phone while I was still in view to supposedly call back the person who wasnt important. I also stopped acting like I cared if he came back. Made him think.
