"she will not persue her sexuality if it is something to fulfill your needs" And there-in lies the problem. Motivation... After 12 years of trying numerous different programs/treatments/therapies, with no results, she's resigned herself to the fact that it is me who has the problem with wanting it "all the time." She's accepted the fact that she never thinks about it. EVER. Her perspective is that there's nothing in it for her.
I've been deployed overseas lots over the past several years and she says that even when I'm gone, she just don't think about it or care. And when I come home, while everyone else is getting "welcomed," I go back to the same-ole, same-ole. Her answer is, "just go sit on the couch and make yourself happy." Sorry, it just isn't the same. It's hard to have an emotional bond with "lefty." (but then, there's no emotional bond with the W anymore either in that regard...probably never was in retrospect).
What I/we need to find is a way to, as you say, "persues it for herself." She CAN and DOES have orgasms. She just doesn't really want to. I think if we could find a way for her to want to, we could break through the rest.
It's become "my" problem even though it's "our" relationship.
