Hi, piglet. Dh has been on anti-depressants most of his life. I didn't go on them until recently and finally found a good fit with the third one. IMO, his meds are not working properly. I attempted to contact his pdoc but HIPPA laws interferred with that. He had the secretary phone me to tell me that I could not speak with him. I tell dh all the time that his meds could be the issue. He believes he knows better.
What do we fight about? Well, I try not to engage him in that manner as much as I can avoid it. Last week, we had a particularly bad fight because he said he wanted to "kill myself" in front of our 4 year old daughter. I had no choice but to confront him on that. His response, "she's too young to understand." It never seems to matter what I say, he counters with a negative. I know it's the depression talking, but I'm finding it awfully difficult to hold my head above water.
No, he's not happy in the marriage; he's not happy with anything these days. The tiniest frustration can catapult him into a rage at any time. Needless to say, I'm having trouble with the kids in their tantrums. Monkey see, monkey do.
What would I like to see changed? I'd like home to be more peaceful. I'd like for him to want to spend time with the kids. I'd like to feel comfortable leaving him with the kids for an hour or so. As it stands, I have to always find a sitter. I'd like to see him interested in working on projects around the house. I'd like to be able to spend time as a family without someone becoming unglued.
There are probably a lot of other items on my wish list, but my number one would be for him to get a handle on his emotions.
Another choice line that he yelled at me last week was "if I commit suicide it will be your fault." I know better than to believe that, but it hurt deeply. Lately, he seems to find power in hurting me.
married 6 years, mom of 2 struggling to make a strong family
