I never really post anymore, but I feel like I had to tell you my story as it relates to your post.
When my EXH left for OW he tried to keep everything quiet. He became extremely upset when I spoke with anyone in his family (and we were all very close.) In fact, he claims I "ruined his relationship with his family", and that was one of the reason for the D. I agreed to not speak with the family anymore and it broke my heart not to see my newphew.
About a month after our D was final my MIL called me and wanted me to come visit. I went with my SIL and spent the day with MIL and FIL. My MIL told me how sorry she was and that she thinks about me everyday. BTW, this was also the day they told me that OW was 7 months pregnant. Anyhow, went I left that day my MIL made me promise that I would keep in touch, even if it was just email. The next night me and SIL spent the night together and watched movies. It was great. I had really missed them.
The next day EXH called me telling me to stay away from his family, that they were just getting back to being close again and now i'm ruining it again....he was simply crazy. I explained to him that his mom had asked me to please come see her so I didnt care. That night my SIL and I were in tears but we agreed to not speak for awhile.
For 8 months I did not speak with MIL. One morning my SIL called me hysterical. My MIL had died suddenly. I have to tell you that the guilt and regret I felt that day was the worst I have felt in my life. I did go to the wake and to the church. It was one of the hardest days of my life. I will never EVER forgive myself for listening to my EXH. My MIL was buried in the dress she wore to our wedding and our family portrait was buring with her. Everyone in the family, FIL, MIL's sisters, they all told me that I was one of her favorite daughter-in-laws and that she always talked about me.
I guess this story was just to make you think again about listening to your EX when it comes down to a situation like that. You never know what might happen. Believe me, I regret it everyday.
Again, its just my 2 cents, but I hope it got you thinking
