I hear what you all are saying and I think writing it out helps alot. I try to do alot of that, but I really wish that I could tie him up to a chair and make a presentation of how dilusional he is being.
Guess who I got a card from this weekend...his mother. She and I had never gotten close, mostly because he has this anger towards his family because they did not support him, one of the same reasons that he gave me for Divorcing me if not the main one. So, he kept me and his family at a distance. She let me know that his grandmother was very ill and that she has tought alot about me and has wanted to speak to me. Also that me and my family have a special place in their hearts. Ofcourse I was very surprise to hear any of this I was under the impression they might even like me. I guess I should mention that I did not meet his family till the day of our weading and I did not know what kind of impression that made about me on them.
Back to the card from his mother, I called her on Saturday and we talked, she told me that when he told them the divorce was final he cried. I went and visited bot her and his grandmother yesterday, he did not know any of this as I thought that regardless of what happen between us I was just acting as a caring human being, it has nothing to do with us. He calls me today at work all upset, asking if I had contacted his grandmother, why I was bothering her, I explain to him that she had requested to see me and that his mom contacted me. He said they just want to find out what happen to us, because they are nosy and now they are going to bother him about us. (He did not tell them why he had decided to divorce and they had asked him to fix it) I said I am still trying to figure it out myself what happen to you and made you decide to go through with it (he had been undecided until the last minute). I told him "why is it that you behave this way towards the people that most care about you", he said "oh please. I never got any support from them and I hate them for it" then it turn into stupid me asking to try again and he said "its over I left and I can't come back now, I don't want to its over, I am sorry they bothered you , I am not calling to pick on you. I asked him straight out if there is some one else he denies it but I know better and I think the only reaseon he hiding it is because for it to come to light would put all the blame on him, and right now he puts all the blame on me.
I think its ridiculous that his grandmother is in her last days and he is trowing a fit. Is not about me or him is about her , she is priority. What do I do?? How do I act like if nothing is happening and not go see her again when his mom has asked that I go back soon because she is getting worse. How can I not grant this dying woman my time, just not to upset him, and why should it upset him, I don't think is fair. He has always put this walls between sections of his life, and this is not the time.
I am again between a rock and a hard place because I know that now he is going to see me as source of trouble in his life , like he sees his family, I will be bunched up with them, and he keeps them at a distance. Instead of this bringing him closer is going to keep him further away from him.
