June 30, 2003 I found this website thanks to a friend who had been using Michelle's principles to save his marriage...I am happy to report that his marriage was saved and that he and his wife are doing great!

When I first came to this web site, I was 2 months into the "broken road" that started 4/3/03 when I discovered my H was having an affair, 4/30/03 he moved out and 12/3/04 our D was final. I did try to apply the principles that we talk about here and I know I did to the best of my ability--but it really was too late for my M. H was completely checked out of the M and wanted to find out what he was really about- "didn't want the wife, house, kid" dream that was my dream. Just over a year of being separated, we agreed on a settlement with regards to the house and I bought him out. 2 months later after trying to sort out all the other financial/asset details--he was reasonable and allowed me to go to a cheap divorce center, so we didn't have the ugly attorney court house battle. I submitted the divorce settlement proposal to him first,I filed and he did not contest. 6 months later it was final.

Just about 2 weeks after I filed for the divorce, I started dating a wonderful man- Bill. We had known each other, danced with each other at the local country western club and I was developing a crush on him--well a mutual friend cut to the chase and said, "Pam's got a crush on you"--and the rest is history...we both fell and fell hard for each other. By the end of last year, just after my D was final, he moved in and then this year, 2 weeks after our 1 year anniversary - which was also his birthday, he proposed. (in front of 300 people at the country club on stage!)

It is absolutely amazing what we have--he too was divorced, he had the wife that cheated and walked away--which I think helps us be so much better for each other--we know exactly the pain each other suffered and would never put that pain upon anyone.

We are looking so forward to spending forever together and I think we have both learned so much from our past marriages. I would not trade for a minute all the pain and suffering I had to go through--because the reward that I have now was well worth the journey.

It amazes me that we were both so willing to open ourselves up to each other--but it was so easy and so right- we are soulmates and completely well matched to each other.

My ex-H and I are friends and he says, "Bill is a lucky man"-- probably a bit of regret there, as he still fumbles with his single life--the OW left him in 2004 when he was "free" to be his (really? nah-yep!)...and whose shoulder did he cry upon? yep--mine. In fact, he said to me at that time, "payback is a b##ch, I can only imagine what you must have gone through"--that felt good to hear him say that.

I do coach him a little bit here and there on how to be a better boyfriend to his current girlfriend--some habits die hard--he is a latin boy and that eye does check out every good looking woman that walks past...and that hurts when you are the girl by his side...
..I am happy to still be friends with him...and he thinks my fiance is also a good man (they have spent time together)... funny enough-- May 13, 2005--what would have been our 10 year wedding anniversary-- my fiance and I arrive in Miami for a conference, my ex-H is already there for the same conference and lends us his room to change and hang out until ours was ready--"happy anniversary"--it was a bit surreal.

Anyway, I am rambling...but very excited to plan this wedding--and to live the rest of my life with such a wonderful man. Just wanted to share with all of you...

I actually stumbled back here to order some books/tapes for my brother who is having a terrible time with his M and what I think will be a WAW very soon... Hoping that I can help them find the answers---they have 2 great boys and I'd hate to see those boys get caught in the middle of this!

Take Care!
Pam

Pam "Life is a dance!!"