To me it sounds like your H has issues that only he can address. It's just such a shame that he can't see it or what he is doing the those around him that love him.
Quote: I do have one question though, the verbal abuse, how do I deal with that.
I can tell you from a verbal abusers point of view that no one deserves to be treated that way. I have done quite a bit of the verbal abusing. I wouldn't want to be treated like I have treated her.
You should not allow yourself to be treated that way. It's not good for you or anyone around you. You should do your best to make it known to him that you won't take it anymore.
I don't know your H state of mind but I know that I always felt terrible the next day. I'd resolve to stop but then I would go ahead and do it again.
I don't know if I would have stopped if my W hadn't left me but I can tell you this right now. It is an area that I am working on very intently. As a child I witnessed my father verbally and physically abusing my mother and I guess I learned to abuse it from nim.
Whether my W comes back or not, my verbal abusiveness ends here. W has taught me a very hard but valuable lesson. I will not intentionally harm my W or anybody else in the future with words. I am humbled by the whole experience and I can't imagine how much irreperable damage I have done to W self esteem.
ABM
I'm not sure I'm living better, but I am living different.
My Sitch
