Let's be honest, in the cases where spouses got back together, it is unlikely one or the other returned here to talk about it, though that would be nice.
The decided they needed to focus on the R.
At least this is the theory I am subscribing to.
We all know or at least offer your situation is unique, in that it is not like our divorces. For example, the odds are high you have communicated with X today, even if it was something trivial. I have not talked to X since about 730p last night, yes that is possible, Wes.
I guess it gets down to goals and objectives. What is the objective in treating yours like a more conventional divorce?
Quote: For example, the odds are high you have communicated with X today, even if it was something trivial. I have not talked to X since about 730p last night, yes that is possible, Wes.
Actually, Wednesday night was last words spoken. Thursday nothing. Friday...noticed e-mail she sent Thursday...a short one.."Thank you for the picture for D. That was very sweet." to which I replied "Your welcome. It had her name written all over it." So that's pretty good for me.
Quote: I guess it gets down to goals and objectives. What is the objective in treating yours like a more conventional divorce?
I don't know. Change things up a bit. Do something different. Try a different tunnel. Change the dynamic. Something along those lines. Honestly, I'm not doing anything right now. I'm just taking awhile to myself to rejuvenate. As you've so nicely pointed out, nothing is going to happen RIGHT NOW, good or bad, as a result of no contact.
Have a good weekend everyone. I need to go do some birthday shopping for my son who will be turning 14 in a couple weeks. How time flies and how their taste in b-day presents becomes increasingly more expensive as they age.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
Hi Wes, I thought it was funny that you signed on to your old name for a minute. I thought maybe I was buzzed or something.
Anyway, did JJ really say he didn't know any success stories since 1991? I think that must be a mistake. One moderator, Sage, is a success story since then. Also, there was a woman posting for a little while after her success, Penngirl. I'm sure if I've read others too, so there are success stories. You can do it.
Quote: Anyway, did JJ really say he didn't know any success stories since 1991? I think that must be a mistake. One moderator, Sage, is a success story since then. Also, there was a woman posting for a little while after her success, Penngirl. I'm sure if I've read others too, so there are success stories. You can do it.
Libby
No, the one that I posted on this forum is DEFINITELY not the only one around!! It just happened to be one that I ran across while I was cleaning up some old threads, that had gotten lost in the shuffle. Thought that it needed to be posted here for all to see!
There are many, many older threads with some good advice, and some good outcomes, from "way back when". Although the times have changed, a lot of the stories have the same ring to them. They're out there, but some of them are just "hidden"! I'm trying to bump some of them up as I find them, and I'm sure that there are plenty more to come!
JJ
Read about Divorce Busting® Telephone Coaching here!
Whatever you might think about the R, the actions are speaking. I still love my STBXH very much...for which most of my friends and family think I am a bit loony. However, my very wise 30-year-old nephew said something to me that made really think when I was reading about your situation. The shortened version, "Aunt STBXW, if Uncle STBXH cared at all or wanted to be with you, he would call you and he would be with you. He is not...therefore from a guy's perspective, I would advise you to write him off and move on because I think that is what he has done with you."
So I wouldn't be too sure about him not wanting me.
It's simplifying human emotion into black and white, and life is not black and white, it's dish cloth grey.
My main problem at the moment is whether I want him. I love him, but I am going through a TON of WAW emotions at the moment. I am a mess with it, more than I let on, on here.
DB'ing is definitely not for the light hearted.
Of course I am pleased at my recent successes, but boy am I tired.
Thought I would post finally. I left something out that I did on Wednesday night and I guess I better come clean since it has a bearing. I went to bingo with my X's parents on Wednesday night. I made the mistake of drinking and venting some frustrations. I said that this isn't how divorced people act...they don't let their XW come and go and leave their stuff at the house forever, etc. Well, I found out today that her parents told her I said all that. They told her I wanted the garage door opener back and wanted her to take her stuff out of the house. They kind of piss me off, but it's my fault.
Anyway, to update. Friday night I asked if she'd watch the dog a bit on Saturday. She asked if I'd pick some stuff up for her. That was the extent of interaction. I kept it light and asked how she had been doing. Saturday I got home late and she came by shortly after that, I suppose to let the dog out. We had a nice chat and I gave her the stuff and she gave me a check. Interestingly, she signed it with my last name even though she changed hers back and her maiden name is on the check. Hope they still cash it.
Today she called this morning and asked if I wanted to go to church. So we went together. It was fine. I had a chat afterwards with a nice couple I met earlier and she seemed curious. We went to lunch afterwards and then came back here and hung out. I pretty much ignored her to watch football. Then before she went to the gym I kind of did my stupid usual and did some physical stuff that she didn't rebuff, but didn't work to advance. After she got back we had a nice chat while she sat on my lap.
Then she left and that's it. End of story. I guess she is reassured that I'm not angry at her. This is stupid. If she thinks I am she comes around and is very sweet.
Well, hope you all had a good weekend. I'm going to a movie with a friend. I'll check up on you all tomorrow.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
My wife is similar in her actions. She shows concern and urgency when she feels or thinks I am down. No contact though. I haven't seen her in a while now. What is up with that.
Wes, You might just as well still be married. You seem to be doing all the things the rest of us only dream about and wish would happen.
What the hell is wrong with your X. She keeps stringing you along and that must be so frustrating for you. It seems to me about the only thing you are not doing is living in the same house.
Jak466
Jak466
State Trooper: Do you feel this vehicle is safe for highway travel?
Del Griffith: Yes sir. Yes. Yes I do. I mean she may not look like much but she'll get you where you wanna go.
I thought maybe I was buzzed or something. 
