Just a quick note. I've been bummed yesterday and today and I guess I don't feel like a meaningless R with XW. I feel all she'll ever do is pull closer, realize that she is indeed getting closer to me, then pull away. It's stupid to even hold out hope. I actually can't lose either way...if she comes back that's fine, if she doesn't that's okay too.
But I'm not going to continue with this foolish life where her kids come over when they want to play games, she comes over when she wants to iron, all her crap is still at my house, and she seems most sweet when she needs something. I'm just not getting enough from this relationship and I feel unless she understands what divorce is like she'll take whatever I give. I mean even when she's giving, like when she helps out around the house, she's still taking. Taking a little while of feeling like a wife without any of the other things. I want my complete independence from her.
I know actions speak louder than words, but sometimes the actions can be misinterpreted and many times the actions are simply not enough. I've decided to draw my line in the sand. I need some unambiguous form of communication that lets me know she is interested in "us" and I mean more than friendship.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
