Quote: I do need to say that I do need a day or two of no contact. My detachment is in the toilet and I'll lose patience. I need to regain both. I mean, last night and this morning she's been too much on my mind and I'm thinking about things (like going to concerts and being susceptible to OM) that I shouldn't be worried about. I mean, I was actually wondering if by next month whether we would be more of an actual couple and I could be more reassured about her being faithful to me. We are divorced, so what the h@ll am I thinking? That's what I need to shake off.
You knew this would bring the mechanical pencil out. HUH?
You want no contact for a day or two but want to be more like a couple?
I repeat. HUH?
You are a couple, but sometimes, ok most of the time you act nothing like a couple and then others, when you are divorced and detached you spend all your time together.
You are falling again, but instinctively whether you admit it or not, afraid of something, so there is this need to pull back, detach, have no contact, but that won't happen, because you are too afraid of what will happen if you don't have contact.
And though you like her intiating the contact, you feel like you have no control over the situation and you don't. The whole relationship is one swirling maelstrom and you don't know how to get out or get your feet dug in to survive or if you even want to be in there, but your actions suggest you do.
