Nice to see you drop by and thanks for your words. I'm trying and I think I'm on the right track. She needs my friendship first and I think the rest will follow. I just need to have more interaction where I solely feed her LL. I like the phone convo idea, but that hasn't really been our thing for quite a while. Our conversations on the phone primarily provide a means of relaying information and arranging face to face meetings. It just seems like she is more the type that wants to talk in person.
So anyway, I have my afternoon with just my kids, but I'm completely beat. It is so hot. After work, I went home and she was still there. There was something....she kept looking for things to either get playful about or I don't know...it was just different. She suggested we get pizza and go to the park. Then suggested we play baseball. So I picked up a couple and we ate in the park, then we all went either skating or biking. She ended up walking so there wasn't any chance for talking or anything. At one point we were way ahead of her and I got a water from the vending machine and brought it back to her and the dog.
After that, despite dying of heat, we played baseball with the kids and her parents. It was fun, but very hot. Then we swung by for a soda. I rubbed her back as she sat next to me, which was probably too much. I kind of just hightailed it out of there before they were done. So, now I need to give her a little space and time to think things through and maybe consider if she wants more contact with me.
One thing is for sure, I'm falling back hard. But this is familiar ground. I've been down this route several times and each time I've lost ground because I got impatient, pursued too much, or got my expectations up and they were let down. This time I need to step back again.
One interesting note: My X's daughter asked me if she could move back here....meaning all of them. I just kind of looked at her and then her mom without saying anything and either did my X. I wanted to say..."I'd like you all to move back, but your mom has some hurtles to cross first...like falling in love with me".
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
