I think the impatience is starting to creep in. Thought I better take a minute to write and regain my focus, which is long term...long term...long term.
Okay, so here's the skinny. No more kissing. There have been several occasions where I felt she was close, but no such luck. But I better start at the beginning.
Friday...no contact. Then evening rolled around and I guess I my "addiction" started to kick in and I needed my fix. I called, basically just to test the waters. She did end up bringing her son by for the night. She stayed an hour and we sat and talked in the garage. Nice conversation that stayed mainly on the New Orleans tragedy and on her. She required a couple hugs, but I did not make any advances otherwise.
Saturday: She calls in the morning and asks what I'm doing. Then says she and some of her family are walking in the park. I told her that none of the boys were up and she said.."well can't you and the dog come?" So I went and it was the slowest walk ever. Not much time to talk since her sister, mom, and kids were there. After that I said I had to run home because I'd promised the kids french toast. She did swing by later, ostensibly so we could run out to give some stuff to "fill the truck", a couple semi trucks that are being loaded for New Orleans relief. She actually stayed for several hours pulling weeds and getting the flower boxes/planting areas looking better. I helped some, then washed her car since she indicated she wanted to do that. I thanked her for her help, then we ran out to the trucks, then to lunch. I was surprised she showed up to lunch, but we stayed quite a while and played the trivia game on the TV. Her sister had asked her to play Bingo so I agreed to watch the kids. Turns out the kids wanted to stay the night after she came by to get them. So, she left, and we watched a movie.
So here it is Sunday. She came by fairly early with clothes to wash. We chit-chatted about last night. She told me of multiple guys that had hit on her (which I didn't much like, but kept quiet...they don't have a chance) and talk about her sister. There was some hugging/touching, but nothing sexual. Then I left to do some work and here I am typing.
My two concerns today: 1) I want some time with just my kids. Should I just come up with something that only we'll want to do or just tell her that I want some alone time with my kids?
2) I'm slipping back a bit. I don't want to want her; the detached part is slipping. I still do my own thing when she's around, but not enough. I have done too much initiating again. And I'm impatient for her to step it up a bit, but this morning I had a talk with myself about "if this was someone you just started dating...yada yada". It helped a bit in remember not to exert pressure.
Okay, any advice or observations is welcome.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
