I was heading to bed when something occured to me, actually several somethings. No, nothing as good as Jo's X telling her he loves her (btw, congrats on that JO and WTG. I'm so happy for you!)

I realized I have made two really stupid mistakes (and you all are saying..."just two?")
Mistake numbero uno: I have been saying...I won't take my X back unless we go through the usual R things, fall in love, yada yada and keep waiting for the start of that. Isn't that what we have been doing, albeit at a very slow pace? It is very similar to my interactions with the most recent girl, a feeling out period where you have occasionally conversations on the phone, go to supper, talk, and work your way up from there. We've had that. We talk, we go to dinner together (often with the kids, but still a date), go to movies in which my X and I go to a separate theater from the kids, I occasionally try something physically, she occasionally gives hugs. This IS an early R. I just keep wanting it to leap ahead to love. It doesn't mean I should get all clingy (since we only just starting); I need to let her decide the pace, but I have to be there and I have to do some of the initiating.

My second realization really goes along with the first. I read the LLs book and never could decide what my XWs was. She has shown me AOS, so I thought maybe that was it. But the answer is obvious now. Separated by 200 miles and communicating by phone or e-mail for the most part, plus every other weekend seeing each other, she fell in love with me long before I did her. And she fell in love with an internet person that she only exchanged e-mails with. She comes by now and just wants to talk. I realized that her LL is quality time, specifically quality conversation. She wants to talk and wants a sympathetic, engaged listener.

If you are wondering, mine is physical touch. But since I already love her, I can wait to get my LL fed. But it explains why it took me so much longer than her to really get to ILY.

So, as I see it, I'm already in the position I desired. We are in the early stages of the R, but I need to see this as my feelings are just ahead of hers and I just need to be patient and "date" at her pace. I need to be sure to feed what I see as her love line. The e-mail part is dead. We don't pass e-mails at all anymore, but hopefully I can provide some face to face QT. I was looking at things wrong. People often start a R based on physical attraction, but they aren't thinking..."I'm going to fall in love with this person". You just provide enough of what they need until they feel love. So, after all this time, I might finally be onto something. What do you think?

In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
Abraham Lincoln

It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.
Theodore Roosevelt