Distant, aloof, leading your own life, you do not have time for her uncertainty, but you will try and be her friend, but without compromising your life and without chasing her.
But, you will be there when she needs you. Look, look what a wonderful guy I am; here in your time of needs, emotionally and physically. Why can you not regognize what a great guy I am? And quit playing this damn game? Give me some points for my effort. Some reward. Something other than this schizophrenic behvior?
Maybe you did the job of analyzing for me. Is there some of that? But, you will be there when she needs you. Look, look what a wonderful guy I am; here in your time of needs, emotionally and physically. Why can you not regognize what a great guy I am? And quit playing this damn game? I suspect that there is. But if sex is all that was offered from her, I would turn it down. I don't want to be friends with perks. Some of this comes naturally; I would help even if I didn't consider her a friend, but there are definitely some things I agree to that I would prefer not doing. I suppose that part is to appear a good guy. Those are the things I should be uncompromising about and just say no, because the truth is that we are divorced, I have to be myself, and she either will or won't accept me for the person I am.
It still leaves me with a how do I handle this? The first paragraph is what I say I want to do and should be doing. "Distant, aloof, leading your own life, you do not have time for her uncertainty, but you will try and be her friend, but without compromising your life and without chasing her." , but I get drawn back in. I know what I should be doing, it's just putting it into practice that is difficult. As I said, the ball is in her court; she needs to make more definite, rather than schizophrenic, moves towards or away from me.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
I guess I could have said, "I'm not comfortable doing that" and maybe I should have. Would have definitely been a 180. Well, I guess if you truly, possibly, maybe have a lump, I can check it out. Anyone else while I'm at it? Beth? Things okay there?
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
The more I think about it, the weirder this seems.
Why didn't she go to a doctor, if this was a legitimate concern?
Wes, you must be WAY past confused, because I am.
As Dr. Phil suggests, there is motive for every action. And hers may well have been of concern. But why ask you? Or mention it to you? Or at least until she actually knew something from a doctor.
Sorry, Gabe, going to analyze here.
Why the need of the X's to convey information (sometime personal) to us, when we never ask?
It is unlikely, you posed any questions about specific ailments in conversation with her? "By the way, X, check for any possibly cancerous lumps lately?"
That one is difficult to work into the conversation, normally.
Don't know the answer to any of those questions. I think if I was her boyfriend or something that it might be reasonable to ask my opinion of it or feel it, but it's really a very personal thing. My impression is that she is scared and finds me in some way comforting
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
But she still should be checking w/a dr. My ex did a similar thing while he was up, first he said that he was having dizzy spells and needed to hold on to me (hand on waist) while waiting for our table at the restaurant. (hmmm!) Then since he said he was all tense, I offered a back rub and he wanted me to go lower (the cramp was in his tail bone, people! of course that didn't stop me from checking out other places!)
Seriously, they must enjoy the attention or it seems like they would be repulsed by our touch! But the motive behind this kind of action? I have to wonder if my ex seriously planned to have me rub him down while he was visiting. (ok, maybe he did!) But, the analyst wants to know WHY? T
