Wow! This is unusual. Not the run of the mill for this board. Seems you've found success with not one, but two, husbands (not to be facetious).
MyLove, you have to answer quite a few of these questions for yourself and I think these are going to be extremely difficult no matter what you do.
Firstly, why did you divorce the first husband and why do you now think that the problems that ended the first marriage won't reoccur and end it again. Have you considered that perhaps you both want what you can't have and that when the "warm and fuzzy" period is over that it will be back to whatever ended the marriage in the first place? Think long and hard on your motivations for this. There is potential here to end up a single mom with two ex-husbands, and everyone getting hurt. That's the blunt question.
2) There must have been more to your new marriage than just "he was good with my son". At one point you loved him enough to marry him. Now your desire is to cheat on him (if you aren't already) with your ex-husband. You actually already are having an EA with your ex-H (is there more than that?). Are you certain that the love you felt for your current husband can't be rekindled? It's just a decision...I will love my H.
I sympathize. You found yourself in an extremely tricky situation, perhaps just from jumping in a little too quickly. My personal opinion, like it or not, is that you are making decisions entirely too quick. You are letting the "warm and fuzzy" early relationship influence you. Try to imagine 5 years down the line and think things through. I guess we need a few more answers before offering great advice.
Lastly, if you did everything perfectly and you and your ex-H lived happily ever after, I think your son will be fine. How much did your H have to do with him during all this? Did he have regular visitation? Or is he just now popping back into his life? I guess I'll reserve judgement on how your son will fair until I know. If your H is a terrible father and it will be a living hell for your son then I guess I'd have to say that the choice of your ex-H is a poor one.
Once again I ask you to search your feelings. Is this a matter of wanting what you can't have and the high of infidelity mixed with the giddiness of a new/renewed R? Is it your Ex-H wanting what he can't have. The thrill of stealing back his ex-wife? Be honest with yourself. This is an important decision that will affect the rest of your life.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
